


Time and Titles

by Mystress



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, Drama, Drug Addiction, F/M, Family, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 17:57:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21140831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystress/pseuds/Mystress
Summary: The Dragon Age Inquisition Cullen/Trevelyan romance sparked my imagination.  I try to focus on the relationship aspect of the game (character interactions) and stay vague on what is happening in the game, only providing small clues and some small spoilers.This story features a Rogue Trevelyan with a twist. A Cullen that has trouble accepting that he can serve the Inquisition while still having personal "interests".Sex scenes are explicit but loving.  It's a slow burn but I have some gratuitous sexy moments for the reader to tie them over until... it happens.  I do try to build tension. Please let me know if I succeed ;)





	1. Haven

Cassandra was moving figures on the large map and discussing strategies. Where would they send her next? Who should go with her? How should she strike? Cassandra “accidentally” referred to her as “the prisoner”, making Cyn wince. 

Cyn was lost in her own thoughts during the war room meeting. So much had happened in so little time. She fell down from the sky, or so they said. You’d think she would remember something like that but it’s like her memories of the event had been wiped. She was now the result of a series of unfortunate events. She went from being some random noble to a member of the Inquisition tasked to close these mysterious fade rifts that recently appeared. The Templar Order and the Mage Circles are in disarray meant that mages are now roaming the world, unchecked. And now there’s a giant fade rift in the sky threatening to end the world and she was the only one that could close it. Everyone was looking to her for answers. Answers to the same questions she had. 

Yet she still felt like the same person the Trevelyan family sent to the Conclave. Her family are strong Templar supporters who didn’t want mages and Templars to make peace in the first place. They profited too much from the conflict. 

Cyn looked at each new face standing around the table. Cassandra, skilled warrior, right hand of the divine and a Seeker for the Chantry. She invoked the powers of the Inquisition and then single handedly broke their ties to the Chantry. She recruited 3 other impressive figures to help lead the Inquisition. Ambassador Josephine Montilyet was their specialist in diplomacy and nobility. She’s well connected and knows the ins and outs of “the Game”. Leliana, also known as Lady Nightingale, a spymaster who helped the Hero of Ferelden in the 5th blight and was the left hand of the divine. Then there was Commander Cullen, ex-Templar, skilled combatant and military strategist. He opposed Meredith in Kirkwall when mages and Templars came to a head. He is a skilled warrior, was a high ranking officer in the Templar Order and is now passionate for their cause.

Cyn found herself looking at the Commander more often than she should. She would lose herself in his features. His blond swept back hair, dark brown eyes, strong jawline and a 5 o’clock shadow gave him that sexy scruff that you would like to hold in your hands while you kissed his full soft lips. If only he wasn’t a Templar… ex-Templar. That part threatened her and her family’s deep dark secret. One that a lot of Templars would kill her for, especially now that the Order was in disarray. He asked her a question, in his deep masculine voice, drawing her distraction to an end. 

“Sorry, what was that Commander?” she asked. 

“The mark on your hand, can you control it?” he repeated patiently.

“I’m still getting used to this… thing.” she looked down at her left hand slowly opening and closing her fist around the green glowing artifact. It was throbbing and sending spikes of pain up her arm. She winced. “I haven’t had the chance to use it very much but I’m confident that in time, I will be able to control it.”

“Does it… hurt?” he asked as his brows drew slightly together.

“I…” she hesitated momentarily, surprised by his concern for her, “Well, yes, it does actually.”

“Perhaps you should see Solas tomorrow,” said Leliana, “Let him continue his research on the mark and he may also be able to ease the pain with his powers.” 

The meeting was adjourned. Soon she was to go to the Hinterlands with Cassandra, Varric and Solas. They needed a few reports back from Leliana’s scouts before they headed out. The advisors left the room and went back to, whatever it is they did, leaving her in the Chantry’s hallway. It was early evening and she had a lot to process however finding herself alone for the first time since it all began was disorienting. In a daze, she left the Chantry to be greeted by a setting sun and cold bitter winds. 

“Hey there” a voice made her turn her head “How’s it going kiddo? You look like you have a cloud hanging over your head.” Varric held his cloak tightly against the wind. 

“Oh, you know...” she laughed nervously.

The dwarf did seem genuine in his concern. He treated her like a normal person, not just the “Herald of Andraste”. “Hey, let’s get out of this fucking wind and head to the bar alright?” he started walking and saw she hesitated, “Come on, it will do ya good.” Part of her wanted so much to go brood in her tent and wallow in self pity, but the request was too warm and inviting for her to refuse. Maker knows she needed a friend right now.

Her time at the tavern with Varric helped her feel less alienated and displaced. They talked about Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen. Their backgrounds and personalities. Varric was easy to talk to and was very grounding with his mix of concern and humour. By the end of the evening, she hugged him and thanked him for reaching out. “No need to thank me, that’s what anyone would have done!”

“Well, no one else seems to have gotten that message.” she said bitterly. 

His expression went serious “You know, I suspect they’re in as much of a shock as you... in a way. Give them a bit of time, a lot of crazy shit happened and people all deal with that differently.” 

She sighed but she knew he was right. Her initial introduction to the group was as a prisoner after all and then suddenly became the Herald. “Yeah… I know … Well, have a good night Varric.”

“Good night kiddo, hang in there.” he said as he patted her on the back and went to their tents.

She woke the next morning to a chilly tent. It was big enough to stand in and fit a cot and a table with chairs and a small dresser. That also meant that her body heat didn’t warm the space all that much. Getting out of her warm blankets was always so difficult. Her clothing was cold when she first put them on and made her shiver. Back home, she may not have had great parents but as a noble, she was used to certain luxuries. 

The remainder of her day was to be spent with the elf Solas to study her mark. She was really hoping he could help answer some questions. The thing was unnerving enough already being a part of her hand, not knowing what it could potentially do made her anxious.

She headed to his cabin where she sat on a chair while he poked and prodded at her hand. Asked her several questions. Consulted texts. Cast spells. Focused on it. Even spent time simply pondering in silence, frowning and sighing. After a few hours she finally asked. “So... is it dangerous?” 

His gaze was soft but dark “I… can’t be certain how it will behave. It is an elven artifact in a shem’s body. It is also very ancient. Does it hurt?” 

She nodded “Not always, but it often does yes.” she shook her head, then after processing what he had said asked, “Wait, it’s Elven?”

“That is correct.” he nodded.

“And you… can’t remove it?” It was more of a statement than a question since he had just told her he would not be able to remove it.

“I don’t know how, this is an unusual situation. Nothing like this has happened before. I do know that removing it would likely kill you.” he said with a sympathetic look. 

“I see.” her heart sank. 

“I am sorry Cyn.” she looked down at the floor attempting to mask her disappointment, “I can do a few things to ease the pain however.” He gently reached for her hand and held it between both of his. He closed his eyes and she felt a gentle pulsing, the pain subsided completely. She sighed with relief. 

He opened his eyes and looked at her, still holding her hand between his. “I could teach you how to do this yourself.” Her eyes widened, she pulled her hand away in surprise. He knew! 

“How did you…” she stammered, “No one is supposed to know! They already don’t trust me and-” Solas held up his hand in a respectful sign to quiet her fears. 

“Don’t worry, I understand. Though I do think you should tell them before they find out another way.”

“They won’t, my family has gone through great lengths to hide it and I was taught to hide it too ...or so I thought. I need to know how you were about to find out Solas, please?” she pleaded.

“I could sense it when I was working on the mark.”

“Oh” she was only mildly relieved, “That is an unusual ability.”

Ignoring her comment, “If I may ask, how have you managed to hide this all your life?”

“Oh my family hid it. They had mages to teach me and even Templars to watch me. They essentially made a mini circle all for me away from home. Sent me away so I didn’t have to remind them of the deep shame I brought to the family.” she said bitterly.

“I will never understand shems and their complicated relationships with magic.” He shook his head. “You will be facing many dangers in the days to come. It would be an invaluable asset to add your magical skills to your forms.” She wasn’t sure how to respond, she knew he was right, about everything. But people would then know she was an apostate. There was a war going on between Templars and mages. They already didn’t think much of her. Not to mention the Commander is an ex-Templar. 

Solas put a hand on her shoulder to pull her out of her spiral “All I ask is that you consider it.” 

She gave him a small, unconvincing smile.


	2. Settling in

They left for the Hinterlands the day after her session with Solas led by Cassandra and executed the plans the advisors had laid out for them. She was getting the hang of her mark and closing rifts. Every time they got near a rift however fade demons appeared and they had to vanquish them before she could mend the actual tear in the veil that separates their world from the spirit world.

Still, they managed to secure mounts for the Inquisition, visited the town of Redcliff and the city of Val Royeau. They recruited two new members of note. A Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall. He seemed like a good sort plus it comforted her to know they had a Grey Warden in their ranks. Their ability to sense Darkspawn is always useful in the event they ran into some of those terrifying creatures that liked to come from Maker only knows where. They also recruited a curious woman by the name of Sera. She introduced herself as a self proclaimed member of the infamous group Red Jenny. A group that stick to the shadows and represent common citizens against the tyranny of nobles. 

To her great relief, Cassandra was warming up to her. Nothing like risking your life and fighting demons with someone to build trust. Varric and Solas had been steady companions as well. Solas stayed true to his word and didn’t reveal her secret. He actually seemed to enjoy having knowledge of her that no one else had. One late night, when they were alone, he taught her how to use magic on the mark to ease the pain. It was an odd magic. He showed her how the anchor was always generating energy. All she had to do was unravel the treads of energy that would tangle and build up around the anchor. It made her realize how severely limited her magical education had been. Her upbringing had focused only on teaching her what she needed to control and hide her powers. 

They had returned to Haven a few days ago and for once there were no immediate plans to head back out on new expeditions. She decided to take that time to get to know the newest members of her group. But first she spent the day doing small chores around Haven. Helping anyone that was in need of an extra pair of hands repairing huts, moving supplies and chopping firewood. The simple and menial labour was great at keeping her mind off the chaotic nature of the world. 

At the end of the day, she found Blackwall near the blacksmith shop. He seemed to be assisting them in their daily chores. “Blackwall?” she called out.

He put down a box, “Hello Herald. Can I help you?”

“Oh, this isn’t official business or anything. We’re going to be here for a little while and I’ve always had great admiration for the Grey Wardens. I was hoping to hear your story.” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

Blackwall chuckled at her enthusiasm, “Well, sadly I’m probably the most boring Grey Warden you could have encountered since I was off by myself recruiting for several years now.” 

“Oh, even the most boring Grey Warden would be more interesting than the most interesting normal person.” she teased. 

“Tell you what, let's get out of this cold for a while and chat at the Singing Maiden.”

They sat at a small table within the tavern near the fire. Blackwall gave her a rather short account of his time as Grey Warden before they started discussing other subjects. He is the stereotypical strong but silent type but seemed to be enjoying their chat nonetheless. 

“So, random question, do you enjoy sparring?” she asked.

“Sparring? Why do you ask?” he said as his brows pinched together in curiosity.

“Cuz she wants ter blow off some steam punching things for fun yeah?.” said Sera as she twirled a chair around, straddled it and rested her arms on it’s back, “I’ll be glad to help you with that… Draste… Hera…. hmm. Need to find you a better nickname.”

“Try Cyn.” she suggested with a smirk, “Nice and short, rolls off the tongue.”

“It’s not about it bein’ short. Gotta mean somethin. That’s the important part. To me.” she explained, “But yeah, I’ll be your sparring partner. Anytime. Anywhere. Just come get me. Even in the middle of the night.”

“I get the impression that we’re going to get along quite well.” she smiled, ecstatic to have found someone that gets it.

“Well, yeh. Best way to get rid of the jitters, ya know. Knocks you out better than 10 ales and ya feel better the morning after. Also better than a cold shower... if ya get my drift.” she winked at Cyn. 

“Where have you been all my life?” she joked, “Wanna go right now?”

Blackwall was enjoying the way the conversation spiraled, “You ladies are the most curious women I've met.”

Sera and Cyn had nearly forgotten Blackwall. As Sera made her way out of the Tavern, Cyn motioned to Blackwall to follow them to the training grounds. 

It was a rare evening in Haven, the wind had died down and light fluffy snowflakes were drifting down from the sky and sparkling under the last few rays of the setting sun. Some of the recruits had retired for the evening however a dozen or so remained for some special training from Commander Cullen himself. The Commander observed the three of them approach his grounds with interest. 

“Heya Commander, where can we get training weapons?” asked Sera as she peeked in the various weapon racks, chests, and barrels strewn about the open grounds. Cullen pointed at cluster of barrels that held various wooden weapons of various shapes and sizes. Cyn and Sera waded through the barrels until they found 2 wooden daggers each. 

They held a dagger in each hand, twirling and swinging them, getting used to their weight. They got into their stances. Both smiling mischievously at each other. Sera took the first steps, Cyn mirrored her. Their makeshift weapons clashing in a regular rhythm. They started to sway and swing their weapons in large swoops, trying to destabilize all while keeping to the dance. The pace increased, each movement faster than the last. They pushed and pulled. Jumped and dodged. Sweat beading on their brows. As the battle progressed, the blows became more insistent. They had finality to them. Someone had to get the final hit. After a series of somersaults, Cyn landed on top of Sera who decided to stay on the ground. She dropped her wooden daggers on each side and said, “That. was. fun.”. Chest rising and falling rapidly. The exertion from the battle left both women breathless and relaxed. Cyn extended a hand to Sera helping her up in a single motion. 

The soldiers had gathered around to watch the display. Even Commander Cullen was watching. If anyone had been paying attention to him, they would have noticed his eyes followed Cyn’s movements as if mesmerized by her body as it had floated around the battlefield. Some of the spectators cheered as the women marched off battlegrounds. A few of the soldiers made some rather lewd remarks. Cullen, angered by the lack of decorum his men were displaying yelled, “By the maker, we do not jeer at the Herald of Andraste!” 

Cyn turned her head to look at the Commander as she was walking away, smiling to him in thanks for defending her honour. He gave her a small smile back as their eyes locked for a few seconds. 

Cullen watched her hips as they swayed from side to side. Her black leather armor left little to the imagination. He knew full well why the men had watched the battle, he had watched too, it was hard not to. Their leering and jeering however, that was simply no way to treat a lady, especially the Herald of Andraste. No matter how attractive she looked. 

“I daresay, if the Inquisition wants to be taken seriously by the Orlais nobility they must be clear in their stance on how they would see mages handled in the future.” said Vivienne ex-First Enchanter of the Circle of Magi of Orlais. She had recently joined their ranks. She was nobility and mage. And very opinionated. 

“I don’t believe that we are ready to start making such bold claims. The Inquisition was created very recently and we are still establishing ourselves.” replied Josephine. 

“Not to mention,” Cyn added, “Our current focus should be the rift.”

“Do not disillusion yourself my dear,” Vivienne waved her hand dismissively, “You’re the Herald of Andraste, the Chantry has no divine leading them, the Templar Order is in shambles. The world is watching your every move. You best think about how you will go about achieving your goal as these will have lasting impacts.”

“Of course Lady Vivienne, this is being carefully considered. We are simply not quite at that point yet.” said Josephine. Cyn was glad she could let the Ambassador handle Vivienne most times. Even though Cyn came from nobility and could navigate their world, she never really felt a part of it and generally disliked most things associated with them.

“Tell me Herald,” said Vivienne. Cyn willed herself to stay patient. “What do you think of magic and those who perform it?” she asked.

“I believe that although the world must be equipped to deal with magic. Mages themselves should be treated as equals.” replied Cyn. 

“So you do not think that mages should be under surveillance?” asked Vivienne.

“Not in the same way that they had been, no. I can understand people’s fears however allowing ourselves to be ruled by it and using it to justify atrocities will only breed more resentment.” she explained.

“That is an idealistic view. Without strong controls, how many will die at the hands of magic?” she said in a tone that made Cyn feel like the most ignorant child in the world. 

“So the alternative is to go back to the way things were. We already know where that leads. Let’s try something new.” she said taking a breath to remain calm. 

“Yes, well, we shall see.” she sneered and turned back to Josephine, “When you are ready to reach out to the nobility, do let me know dear. I will surely be able to help.” 

Vivienne left the office and as soon as the door closed Cyn exclaimed, “Ugh, Josephine, I have even less patience for people like her than I used to. How am I going to get through our dealings with nobles?”

Josephine smiled sweetly, “Oh, perhaps if you had a good night of sleep Herald. I heard you and Sera put on quite the show for the Commander and his soldiers.”

“Maker’s breath! We were sparring!” replied Cyn, rolling her eyes, “And that was late last night, how did you hear about it?” 

The Ambassador chuckled, “Haven is a small place, word travels quickly. You should bare that in mind given your position in the Inquisition. In any case, do let me know next time you spar. There is little in the way of entertainment in Haven and I would very much like to see what everyone was talking about.”

“What did they say, exactly?” she asked curiously.

“I think the word the Commander used was: mesmerizing.”


	3. The Cat is Out of the Bag

They had been gone for nearly two weeks when they returned to Haven. Cassandra provided most of the updates at the War Room meeting. The three advisors generally kept a professional distance from Cyn. They always used her title to address her and kept all conversation businesslike. It was tough for Cyn to work under people she didn’t quite understand. She also knew that they still kept watch over her when they were away. Cassandra wrote regular reports on Cyn’s activities specifically. 

Today however, Leliana requested that she stay behind after the meeting to “discuss some matters of importance”. She knew that Leliana was trained as a bard in Orlais so keeping things from the great spymaster of the inquisition was going to be tricky, and she knew they would look into her family which meant, sooner or later, they will have questions. Her stomach was in knots. 

“I will be honest with you Herald. My scouts are having a lot of difficulty finding information about you. As if great efforts have been put into keeping things hidden. Do you know why this might be?”

Cyn sighed. The charade was already over. “They aren’t looking hard enough?” she smiled meekly but she wanted to see if Leliana would give up any more information. Maybe there was still a chance she could wiggle out of this.

“I very much doubt this Herald. Needless to remind you, it is important that we know more about you and your family. We need to play the Game and engage in politics and Josephine will need to know what we are dealing with, especially given your family’s influence in Orlais.” 

The spymaster wasn’t falling for it. She will have to divulge a bit more first. “My family does have a lot of dirty secrets, that much I can confirm. Are you asking me to divulge these secrets to the Inquisition? If your scouts are having trouble finding them, it would mean that others would not be able to either, no?”

“Perhaps” she paused to let the word linger. Oh, she was such a Bard she thought to herself. “However, your family’s secrets were not so hard to uncover except the ones that surround you. We know your parents are very powerful and influential nobles in the Free Marches and Orlais. They are strong supporters of the Templar Order. You have an older sister and a younger brother who is a Templar. Your sister is being groomed to take over the family affairs. Your younger brother has gone since the event at the Conclave. We know your family has ties to many organizations, savoury and unsavoury. But as far as you, all we know is that you spent a lot of time away from the main family home. They regularly sent you away to some mysterious place, speckled with sending you at some high profile events on their behalf.”

Well played, she thought. She paused, not bothering to hide her discomfort in discussing her upbringing. “Look, we don’t know each other very well but I will be honest when I say that I would much rather people not know about this.” She collected her strength, “My family hid me, most of the time… when I started showing signs of magic.” Leliana’s eyes grew wide with understanding. “They didn’t want anyone to know so they hired a small crew of bards, Templars and mages to teach me in secret. They made sure there was no evidence.” Cyn sighed, “So there you have it. I’m an apostate of a hateful, but powerful family. Actually now that I say it that way, I realise I should probably have said something sooner. It’s just that” she rambled on “you were already so distrustful of me…”

Leliana smiled “I understand”.

“You do?” 

“Yes, of course I do. I know how you were thinking, gain their trust first, then strike. Right?” She chuckled, “I should have seen your Bard training in how you’ve been handling yourself sister.”

She smiled but was still concerned, “I’ve been hiding this part of me all my life. Things are already so chaotic. I’m… I’m not sure how ready I am to share this with the world. In fact my family may react quite badly if this information became public.”

“Yes, I can imagine. I will… have to ponder how to handle this delicate situation. You do not use your abilities in battle however so for now, let’s keep things as they are. If things change, we can discuss it then. I will have some scouts infiltrate circles near your family to see how they react and if they feel threatened by your... fame.” Leliana was so professional Cyn thought, she certainly had lots more experience in being a bard and spymaster “Of course, you should know that I have to share this with the Ambassador and the Commander at the very least.

“The...Commander… he doesn’t need to know does he? I mean, he’s an ex-Templar and he’s...” 

Leliana looked at Cyn curiously “Not very fond of Templars?”

“Well, my parents had Templars follow me almost everywhere I went. And...” her voice faltered as she recalled the painful memories. 

“I see but he does need to know. Remember that the Commander chose to leave the Templar Order and will do what is best for the Inquisition. In fact, you should take the time to go speak with him. Perhaps that will help set your mind at ease. It may be better if you could tell him about this yourself?” On that note, Leliana took her leave and on her way out she added with a small smile, “If you don’t tell him soon, I will.”

Cyn made her way to the training grounds. At first, she kept her distance and watched. Soldiers were performing drills. The Commander was instructing them with confidence and skill. He would correct their stances, stop and show them proper form, keeping the intensity of the training to mimic the exertion experienced during battle. She found herself staring at him walking back and forth amidst his soldiers. Seeing him in his element was very different from his stoic attitude around the war table. Sure he was brandishing a sword and yelling at his men but somehow he seemed more approachable now than he’d ever seemed to her.

She took a determined breath and walked towards the training grounds. When he spotted her he immediately sheathed his sword and spoke to his Captain, who then took over the training. They met at the edge of the grounds “Can I help you Herald?” his intense gaze was fixed onto hers. 

“I was just hoping to talk to you a bit actually, if you have a moment to spare.” The grounds were loud with the clanking of swords.

“Of course” he said matter of factly, “Follow me.” He led her to a tent away from the noise and sat at a table littered with reports and letters. 

“The soldiers seem to be improving very quickly, some of them I remember we recruited barely a week ago, that is impressive Commander.” Open with a compliment she thought, see how he reacts, go from there.

“Thank you Herald. I take my role very seriously and devote all my time to our cause. I want to give the men the best chance of survival but also the skills required for the Inquisition to succeed.”

“Does your experience mostly come from your time as a Templar?”

“Yes, all of it actually. Templar training is some of the best out there. I was a Knight-Captain before I left the order, so I was already training recruits.” 

“Did you ever spend a lot of time watching over mages?”

“I did my fair share of working within the confines of a circle tower, yes.” he continued with his detached tone.

“Did you enjoy it?” he raised an eyebrow at her question, “Being a Templar.” she clarified.

“I did believe in the order and I still believe the world needs them. However, there is a reason why I am here. I saw what happened in those towers and then Kirkwall. People, Templars and mages alike, do tend to make a mess of things. Mages turn to blood magic, the Templar order reacts more harshly every time, which caused more mages to turn to blood magic. It became a vicious cycle.” he paused momentarily, observing her with interest, “Is there a reason you’re taking such an interest in my background Herald?” 

Ugh, so formal she thought. “I just thought I would get to know you… people better. I had a bad start when it comes to first impressions.” she smiled tentatively. Maybe he would smile back. He didn’t, but his face did soften significantly. 

“Fair enough. I have a lot of responsibility and lives on my hands. When Cassandra recruited me for the Inquisition, it was a very big decision for me to leave the order. My confidence had been shaken by the recent events in Kirkwall and Knight-Commander Meredith. I followed her orders until nearly the very end. I’ve seen a lot of good men, following orders they knew were wrong. I was one of those men for a time and I’m not proud of that. But once I realised, I couldn’t keep following. Most Templars join because they want to do good and I felt I could do more good here.”

“Do you really think most Templars join because they want to do good? I’ve heard many Templars hate mages.” she knew that was dangerous territory to ask however, she needed to know where he stood on this.

“Templars are in positions of power so certain… types can get attracted to the prospect of power. I won’t deny that there isn’t corruption among the order, or that there aren’t any bad Templars. I’m here because I believe change is needed, but I would be reassured to see the order still exist after all this. Reformed at the very least, if not changed significantly. But we do still need those that are specialized to deal with great magical threats.”

“Surprisingly, I agree with much of what you’re saying.” 

“Why is that surprising?” he as with curiosity. 

She bit her lower lip to think of how she wanted to share the next bit of information, “Commander, there is something that you should-” 

Captain Rylen, the Commander’s second in charge, barged into the tent, “Commander ser, I apologize for the interruption but there is an urgent matter that requires your presence immediately.” 

Cullen looked concerned and turned to Cyn, “I’m sorry Herald, I must see to this matter. I will come find you afterwards.” and with that, he followed the Captain. Cyn sighed. 

Varric and Cyn had been sharing ales at the tavern for several hours and it was now quite late. They had been laughing boisterously and talked about “normal” things only, as Varric liked to call them. It’s like Varric knew it was something she needed. He was a great storyteller and regaled her with multiple tales real and fiction. 

There were some workers and soldiers in the tavern that seemed to give their “Herald” some curious looks. Perhaps they found it difficult to connect the fact that the Herald was also a person. A person that, right now, felt the effects of the ale quite strongly.

Commander Cullen entered the tavern made his way to Cyn and Varric. “Herald, I’ve been looking for you” he sat at their table. 

Varric exclaimed loudly “Commander! What a surprise to see you here! Come, grab an ale, join us!”

“No ale for me, thank you.” he replied sternly.

“Awe, come on, you could really use one! Barkeep, one ale for the good Commander please!” yelled Varric, Cullen sighed and rolled his eyes and motionned “no” to the barkeep. 

“I just wanted to have a chat with the Herald actually. I said I would find her since we had been interrupted earlier.” he looked at Cyn. 

Cyn tried to re-focus her eyes and steady her wobble “Ummmm…” she didn’t want to finish that conversation now. Varric was laughing, it was probably taking her a bit too long to respond.

“Herald?” repeated Cullen. 

Ugh! Again with the Herald business. Her drunken mind had no patience for it. “Well first off, stop calling me Herald. It’s SO annoying.” she was slurring more than she would have wanted. Varric had gone quiet and was waiting for the Commander’s reaction. 

“It’s… annoying….” Cullen repeated with a small smile at the corner of his mouth, “So how would you like me to address you then?”

“How else? By my name! It’s short and... sweet, “ she winked, “But come to think of it, I don’t even think you know my name, I’ve never heard you say it!” she was trying to give him her best drunken serious face.

“I do know your name, I read all the reports and…” he started

“Then what is it?”

Cullen looked around to see how many eyes they had drawn to them. Cyn snapped her fingers to get his attention back “Who cares if there are people here, they should know my real name anyway! I’m a real woman too dammit.”

Cullen seemed to want to protest but stopped, “It’s not like that…”

“What’s my name Cullen? See, I know your name.” she mocked.

“Cyn,” he emphasized her name hoping that would quiet her, “Listen it’s just that-”

Cyn wasn’t listening, “Oh there ya go! Wasn’t that hard, was it?” she laughed and wavered on her chair as she leaned back to have some ale and hiccuped. “So do Templars take vows? I swear to the maker to watch over all the mages. That sort of thing.”

“Um well, yes, in a way. There’s a vigil and-” he started to explain.

“Are Templars also supposed to give up physical temptations?” 

“Physical? Why would you-” he cleared his throat, “You can. I mean some do but it’s not required.”

“Have you?” she kept pressing. This seemed very important to her little inebriated brain at the moment.

“Um, n-no, I’ve taken no such vows. Maker’s Breath… Varric, help me get her out of here.” Cullen ordered. She somehow still managed to be cute despite her lack of decorum and random bursts of anger. 

“Oh Commander, come on, she needed to let loose a bit and have some fun for once. You people have been running her ragged.” Varric pleaded.

“Right, and she’s had her fun and now it’s time to go. Also, we’ve received an urgent request from some Templars that arrived in the Hinterlands today. They have asked to meet with the Herald as soon as possible. We are sending you out early tomorrow to make the voyage.”

Varric sighed “Oh fine. But you have to carry her, I’m not letting her throw up on my cloak.”

“I can walk!” Cyn said offended that they would even suggest she couldn’t. She stood up quickly, tipping her chair backwards and then promptly toppled over. Cullen, anticipating this, was ready to catch her. “Whoops!” she exclaimed surprised. 

The three of them left the tavern. “Told you you wouldn’t be able to walk out of there on your own. Luckily the Commander was able to catch you before you fell on your face. That would have been embarrassing. Our lovely Herald, too drunk, bleeding nose.” Cyn grunted and stuck her tongue out at Varric.

“Listen to Varric, he’s being more reasonable now than he’s been all night since he decided to feed you ales.” joked Cullen.

Cyn playfully poked Cullen’s cheek “Oh shut up you and your stupid handsome face.”

Cullen choked with embarrassment. Varric elbowed the Commander and gave him a huge knowing grin. Cyn, oblivious to what she said snuggled into the Commander’s fluffy cape mane to hide her face from the wind and snow. It smelled of camp smoke and cedar. She relaxed completely for the first time since the ordeal happened, and passed out.

As they got to her tent, Varric looked at her laying in her cot, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this peaceful.” he rubbed his hands together, “But damn is it ever freezing in here. Don’t you have any better quarters for the lady?” 

“She insisted on having a private room. Any other arrangements would have her sharing with others.” he replied. 

“Well get her a small stove or something, she’s always complaining about how cold she is.”

“She does?” Cullen had never heard her complain about… well anything, except I guess being called the Herald. Then again, Cullen had largely been keeping to himself. The lyrium withdrawals were intense and took most of his energy, the rest being focused on leading the forces of the Inquisition. He looked over at this new member of the Inquisition, Herald of Andraste, for the first time as a real person. She had made a good point, they were treating her like a thing more than a person. He now wondered what it was she was trying to tell him earlier. “I will see what I can do.”


	4. Lies of Omission

The others exited the war room but Cullen closed the door and stood right in front of Cyn, reaching for her waist to pull her into him. She reached for his lips and they kissed passionately while running their hands all over each other. 

She slowly led him back to the large sturdy table in the middle of the war room. She had been waiting so long for this she ached to feel him inside her. And she wanted it now. Hard. Fast. “I need you inside me Cullen.” she whispered seductively in his ear as she unbuttoned his pants. She slowly turned around while keeping pressure on his hard cock with her hips. She heard him moan at her words, at her touch. He reached his arms around her back, holding one of her breasts and kissed her neck softly while she uncovered herself from the waist down. She bent over the table pushing her hips into his and he positioned himself at her entrance, teasing her with the tip of his cock. He dipped into her lightly and pulled out causing her to moan with pleasure and agony for him. She was practically dripping. 

“Cullen, please…” she begged.

“Please what?” he teased.

“Please fuck me Cullen. I need your hard cock inside me.” she said in her most seductive voice, hoping that it would set him on fire enough to take the plunge. She looked back at him and wiggled her hips playfully against him. She saw a sexy smirk looking back at her with intense desire.

She felt him bend partially over her as he reached around for her clit so he could massage it gently while he entered her. She was ready for him because he slid in with ease. She moaned with delight. He pulled back to position himself to thrust hard and slow. They both enjoyed the slow hard thrusts as the heat built up in both of them. She felt herself tense up as she was getting closer to orgasm. He was in tune with her as he started to speed up his trusts. “Faster.” she whimpered between breaths and moans, “Harder.” she added. Cullen grunted with exertion and pleasure as he happily complied with her demands. The hotter she got, the closer he was getting. Then Cullen said “Rise and shine Herald!”. 

Cassandra barged into Cyn’s tent, “Rise and shine Herald!” she pulled the blankets off her abruptly. Cyn curled up, bracing against the cold, and grunted in annoyance. “You must get up. We leave within the hour.”

“Cassandra, I can’t.” she whined. She was hung over and was desperately horny. An odd combination. 

“Yes, the Commander warned me you may not be... feeling well today. Self inflicted though. You shouldn’t have been so irresponsible.” she scolded.

“Varric was there too.” she protested as flashes of her dream kept running through her head.

“Yes and Varric has been reprimanded. I’m sorry but the Inquisition takes precedence over your little headache.” Cassandra crossed her arms and looked at her impatiently.

“It’s a big headache.” she pouted as she sat up on the side of her cot, testing her legs. She had fallen asleep with her clothes and obviously the Commander or Varric would not have done more than just drop her off in her bed. She was going to have to get Varric to give her some details about the events that transpired. She could hardly remember anything. She remembered the Commander joining them and she yelled at him. Oh shit, she yelled at him.

“You can come in Solas.” Cassandra called out, and Solas, who was likely waiting outside the tent entered once he got the all clear. “Solas will help you with your “big” headache.” she mocked and then as she turned to leave added, “Make sure she’s ready to leave within the hour.”

Solas took her in for a moment with a smirk. He was always so calm and collected… wise. He simply sat down beside her and proceeded to ease her headache. It felt marvelous. “You will have to teach me how to do this one too.” 

“You haven’t told them yet?” he asked quietly.

“I… sort of.” Solas raised an eyebrow at her response, “Leliana forced it out of me. But, not everyone knows and depending on my family, that may have to stay that way, at least while the Inquisition is establishing itself with the nobility.” 

Solas shook his head lightly, “You put yourself in a lot of danger, there will be a time when it will happen, people will find out. The world will find out Cyn.”

“I know you’re right Solas. I promise, once we get back, I will deal with this.” 

The travel to the Hinterlands was miserable for Cyn despite the sunshine. Cassandra continued to shake her head like a disappointed parent. Varric commented what a lightweight she was and that next time he’d have to watch her more closely. To which Cassandra quickly added that there would be no “next time”.

Cyn fell behind the group with Varric, out of earshot of the others. She whispered, “So, I’m afraid to ask what happened last night.”

Varric looked amused. Mischievous even. “I figured you wouldn’t remember much! How can I say this? You’re a hilarious drunk. You schooled and embarrassed the Commander multiple times. It was amazing.” he was trying to contain his laughter so much that he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. 

“I did what to the Commander?” she said, mortified, “He’s going to skin me alive won’t he. Oh maker... maybe he’ll have time to forget it all while we’re gone.”

“Oh I very much doubt that. If anything you made sure he wouldn’t be able to forget you. You made him say your name, called him stupid and handsome and shushed him multiple times.”

Cyn’s face turned a bright shade of crimson, “I did what?”

Varric was now doing a full bellied laugh, unable to contain himself, “And not to mention how you passed out, snuggled up in his arms as he carried you back to your tent. But at least you didn’t throw up on anyone so... there's that.”

“Varric how could you let me make such an idiot of myself? You asshole!” she exclaimed, unable to contain her embarrassment. 

“You were enjoying the Commander’s company way too much. Who am I to stop that? Plus you had stuff to get off your chest with him anyway, it was good for you... and for him to hear it.”

“Ugh! I’m so mad at you right now. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at him in the eyes again! Do you think he hates me now?” she buried her head in one of her hands while the other held on to the horse’s reins. 

“Hate you? No way, you’re too darned cute for that. Your antics made him smile for longer than I’ve seen him smile since I met him. Besides, trust me, if you were really making an ass out of yourself, I would have stopped you.” he paused and leaned in close to her, “So, do you really think he’s handsome? Little crush on the Commander huh?”

“Now you’re just saying that on purpose to make me blush again!” she pushed him back playfully.

“So, it’s true then?” he chuckled.

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement.” she stated playfully. The Commander was drop dead gorgeous, any woman with eyes would agree, there was no point denying it. 

The Templars had broken off into many small factions after the Conclave incident. Many of them were wandering the area, hunting mages or hiding. This particular group had been hunting apostates and now showed interest in joining the Inquisition but only if they could meet the Herald. The Commander had highly recommended recruiting them, as having trained soldiers would help him instruct the droves of unskilled men and women that wanted to fight for the Inquisition. 

Cyn tried to hide how nervous she was meeting a group of Templars. She obviously wasn’t doing a great job of it since Cassandra kept asking her if something was wrong. “Actually, Cassandra, do you think you could lead the talks with the Templars?” 

Cassandra looked at her curiously “But they specifically asked for you.” 

“I… you’re right. I will talk to them, forget I asked.”

They met in the Chantry’s courtyard in Redcliff. Four men, armored in the familiar Templar garb, sword and shield. As they approached, Cyn could sense their smugness. She had a really bad feeling about these men. 

“Greetings Herald, thank you for meeting us personally. I am Templar Malterres here speaking on behalf of our faction.”

“The Inquisition is pleased to meet you Templar Malterres. I hear you wished to discuss joining our cause?” get straight to the point she thought. Get this over with. 

“We know of your Commander Cullen, how he used to be a Templar and how you have other Templars that also joined forces with the Inquisition. For us this means joining up with members of our Order so we can keep doing our work. And… we also assume you would have secured some reliable sources of Lyrium.”

Now this was worrisome. “I hear that your group has tasked themselves in hunting down apostates. How did you determine your marks?”

“Well, a mage is a mage. They’re all dangerous. We used our training to go out and find as many as possible and brought them in.”

“You… brought them in... to where? There are no more circles” She liked this less and less. The Templars looked at each other knowingly. “Have you been... killing them? Any mages that you encounter?” She was now yelling “Even the ones just, working on farms with their families? Just indiscriminately killing them?” she was shaking with fury, “I’m sorry but the Inquisitions doesn’t take in murderers.”

“You’re making a big mistake.” Their stances became aggressive. “I can’t believe the Inquisition would be mage sympathizers.” At those words, he looked at Solas and unleashed his Templar powers and drew their swords. A deep resounding hum exploded from them, they had just drained all the magical energy in the area. Solas took a step to re-balance himself at the feeling of being completely drained of energy. Cyn however, being less accustomed to this choked as if she took a swift hit to the gut, like being plunged in ice cold water, unable to catch her breath, she fell to one knee. Malterres was upon her and quickly bashed her with his shield and swung his sword ready to slice her. 

Cassandra exclaimed “Cyn!” and put herself in front of Cyn to block the deadly blow. Varric was showered them with bolts as fast as he could while Solas was slowly drawing energy from his surroundings to replenish his manna stores. The battle did not last very long, the team suffered some injuries but the Templars were dealt with. 

Cassandra turned to Cyn “What happened to you?” Cyn couldn’t bare it, she stayed on the ground, unable to look at Cassandra, “Are you... an apostate?” The lack of response was all Cassandra needed to confirm her suspicions. 

Later that night, Cassandra went to see Cyn in her room at the Redcliff Inn. “I want you to know that I will be sending in a report to Haven about the incident.”

“No! Please, can it wait until we get back.”

“I’m sorry but no... This is too serious, I cannot wait.” Cyn sighed at these words. 

“Does that mean the Commander will read it?” 

“Probably.” Cassandra’s eyes searched Cyn’s for meaning.

“Could you maybe just ask that it not be read by the Commander?” she pleaded.

“Cyn, you… you basically lied to us neglecting to share this. We are with you, fighting at your side. Whatever this is about, it is going to my reports to Haven. I just wanted you to know.” Cassandra left Cyn to her anguish.

Report: Meeting Templar Malterres 

Templar Malterres met with the Herald to discuss joining the Inquisition. Further discussions with the Templars revealed that they were hunting and murdering any and all mages they encountered. The Herald denied their request to join the order. 

This caused the Templars to draw their swords on us and used their powers to drain magical energy. This affected Solas, obviously. The Herald, however, was also affected and fell from the blast. The Templars were upon her before we could react and she took a severe blow to the head. She is recovering thanks for Solas and the local healers. 

So it seems our Herald is an apostate…

Before the meeting with the Templars I noticed the Herald was acting strange and seemed distracted, nervous even. Also, I should mention, she seemed to be very concerned of Commander Cullen finding this out. 

We will finish our business at the Crossroads and then head back to Haven. 

As Cullen finished reading the report, he stormed out of his tent and rushed to the Chantry. When he entered Josephine’s office, he slammed the report down onto her desk. “Read this.” he commanded. Josephine picked up the letter and once read she sighed and rubbed her temples. 

Cullen was furious, he paced in front of her desk and then said in a booming voice “Why didn’t she tell us about this? Does she not understand what could have happened? If I had known she was a mage I would have sent different people with her. What else has she not told us?” He looked at Josephine who had been very quiet, “Have you nothing to say to this?”

“We… we did know, we just, we just hadn't told you, yet.” She knew he wasn’t going to take that well.

“What? Why?” his anger continuing to rise.

Josephine suddenly wished Leliana was here for this. It was she that asked they give Cyn a chance to speak to the Commander herself first after all. “Given the circumstances this will sound rather ridiculous.” She looked up at Cullen who was towering over her, still fuming, “But first Commander, sit down, please.” He didn’t move and simply glared at her. “Commander Cullen Rutherford, if you do not calm down and have a seat, I will have to ask that you come back later when you have regained your composure. I will not have you burning holes with your eyes into my head and losing your temper at every word I’m about to say.”

Cullen knew that ultimately, with Josephine and Leliana, he had to listen. Ugh, and she was right. He sighed audibly and finally sat down. Josephine smiled, that’s what she liked about the Commander, reason usually prevailed. 

“You recall how we told you that Herald Trevelyan’s family relationship was quite strained. The reason for this is because she is, as you read, a mage. Her parents made every arrangement, paid off officials, had her trained in secret and then found every excuse to send her away.”

“And you thought it was a good idea to keep this from me because?” 

“She seems to have an… irrational fear of Templars. We suspect something may have happened when she was young. Her family, being strong Templar supporters, always had Templars guarding her.”

Cullen’s expression immediately changed. His anger faded away and turned to concern. He knew only too well what could happen if she was assigned the wrong kind of Templars. Josephine continued “We told her that she should speak with you personally about the matter. I guess she didn’t...”

“No, she did try.” he remembered when she came to see him a few days ago, how he thought it was strange that she came to talk to him about the Templars and his personal stances on their role, what kind of Templar he was, “But then, I got interrupted. The next time I went to find her she was rolling off the table at the tavern.” Josephine calmly looked at Cullen. “So what do we do now Lady Ambassador. This is outside of my area of expertise and we need our Herald to be at her best.” he finally admitted.

Josephine smiled “Actually, this is your area of expertise my dear Commander. You are the Templar she needs to show her how to fight back and most importantly, how to help her get over her fears.” 

It was late when they returned to Haven. She managed to convince Cassandra to hold their meeting the next day, she wanted to have a good night of sleep before dealing with what was to come. When she got to her tent, she noticed a small stove had been installed. Someone had even lit the stove recently for her to get the chill out. She smiled to herself. She will have to find and to thank whomever had done this. She added a few logs to carry her over the night and went to sleep. 

When she made her way to the Chantry, feeling rested and ready to face the day, only the Commander was in the War Room. She froze, waiting for him to speak first. “Cyn, come in. We have some things to discuss.” She slowly made her way to the table. “As you know, I read Cassandra’s report on the event with the Templars and I’m afraid we have a lot of work to do.” He kept his voice soft, knowing that she had been anxious to talk to him. She still hadn’t said anything so he kept talking. “I decided that it would be best for me to train you, personally, on how to defend yourself from Templar attacks. We should begin today, if you think you are up to it. What do you say?”

“I…” she bit her lower lip showing her discomfort with the conversation, “I’m not sure I could just jump into being pelted by Templar powers by the Commander of the Inquisition all day. Aren’t you mad at me for keeping this from you? Cassandra and Varric were pretty mad.” 

“I was yes. It made me wonder if there’s anything else you’re hiding. But mostly, I was mad that this lack of honesty nearly killed you all. You’re very lucky you have Leliana and Josephine at your side on this one because they did a good job making me understand. So, I’m not mad anymore but I am determined to prepare you for your next encounters. And no, pelting you with Templar powers wasn’t what I had planned for today. Today, I need to understand why you’re afraid of Templars.”

“I’m not afraid of them they just make me nervous. They have the ability to make me completely vulnerable, any mage would be guarded around them.” she lied. Cullen simply crossed his arms and kept looking at her. She sighed in resignation, “Look, that’s…not something I’ve told...well anyone outside… those that were there at the time.” she started to panic.

“Maker’s breath what did they do to you?” he whispered more to himself than her.

Cyn closed her eyes and willed her nerves to be strong. “Could we go somewhere else to talk then? Maybe with a bottle of wine at the Tavern?”

They sat in the quietest corner of the tavern they could find. She started by going in detail about her family, how they hate magic. He even learned he had briefly met her Templar brother Erik in Kirkwall. Her older sister was really good at the Game and while she didn’t hate magic or her sister, she took her responsibility to succeed her parents legacy very seriously. So she did nothing to challenge her parents decisions.

“When my magical powers manifested, my parents were quick to get rid of anyone who had witnessed the event. Invented some elaborate story of how I was being sent to an exotic private school far away from home. What they really did was build a tower in the mountains. Sent me there for 8 years, only bringing me back at certain strategic times where they could parade me to quell any rumors. Those years at the tower were terrible. The mages tasked with teaching me magic had strict instructions not to teach me anything too useful. They were essentially prisoners too. Bards would come regularly to teach me how to hide my magic. There were 4 Templars guarding me wherever I went. They were all awful to me.” she stopped to take a few large gulps of wine, “One of them, was, how did you call them, the type of Templar that was drawn to power. He was abusive and... one day he sexually assaulted me.” To Cyn’s surprise she didn’t fall apart like she thought she would. Her eyes welled up with tears at the memory, but she just kept looking into Cullen’s eyes and somehow she felt ok. 

“Cyn, I’m so sorry…” replied Cullen, full of sadness. Thinking of the young girl she must have been at the time, shunned from her family and then mistreated her entire childhood and teen years. Then his hand clenched into a fist “Who was it? Do you know where he is now?”

“Oh, Commander, you are so sweet.” She smiled sadly and wiped the few tears that were rolling down her cheeks and put her hand gently over his clenched fist. “But don’t worry, I killed the fucking bastard the next chance I got.” 

He blinked a few times, “Thank you for telling me Cyn. And please, call me Cullen. Another glass?” she nodded in response. They continued until they were both rather tipsy. They switched to lighter subjects. Cyn got to see Cullen smile and even laugh. Eventually Varric joined them, even Cassandra. She hadn’t felt this good in a very, very long time.


	5. Learning to Linger

“Ah, good morning Cyn. How did you sleep?” said Cullen as she entered his office tent. He had been drinking tea and filling reports. 

“It was great. I sleep much better since someone installed a heat stove in my tent. Whenever I wake up and feel the heat it gives off I just want to hug whoever took the time to get it for me.”

“Ah, you are enjoying the stove I had installed for you then. Glad to hear it.” he gave a small smile.

“That was you? I guess I um, owe you a hug then.” she smiled and winked. She wouldn’t mind an excuse to give Cullen a hug at all. He looks so warm and cozy, and strong and… oh. 

Cullen smiled uncomfortably, “W...Well it wasn’t all me, Varric suggested it, all I did was ensure it got done. It was nothing, really.” Did he just blush? “Anyway, we should get to work. Come with me.”

It was a cold morning, the wind was blowing as always but the sun was shining at least. They walked further into the field behind the training grounds until they reached a cluster of trees, hidden away from prying eyes. The nature of her training needed to remain secret for the moment. As they walked, Cullen was already explaining all about Templar powers. What they are, how they work and what they would be doing today. He explained that, not many mages get exposed enough to Templar powers often enough to learn to counter them, but they can be countered to an extent. 

“Templars are advised to use their powers only when needed, over using them around mages would essentially give them the ability to get used to them and learn to overcome them. So the idea today is to give you exposure until you get used to how they feel.” 

They got into position, facing each other but still within arms reach. Cullen expected she would likely fall over at first. “Are you ready?” She was nervous but pressed her lips and nodded in agreement. Taking a deep breath, closed her eyes and tried to will herself to resist. Cullen released his manna draining powers. That deep resounding hum exploding from his body. Cyn choked on her own breath and fell forward. Cullen immediately caught her and held her until she could stand again. Cyn was feeling a bit greedy for his touch. She would sometimes take a bit longer to recover, enjoying his warmth and comfort.

“This is going to be harder than I thought.” she said.

“I know, but I know you can do it.” he said encouragingly. When she could stand on her own, he retrieved a few small bottles from his pack and gave them to Cyn. Lyrium. She drank the contents of one and immediately felt better. “From now on, you will be carrying some Lyrium with you.” The Commander’s eyes lingered on the bottles with longing. He then shook his head and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers and then immediately straightened and pressed on. 

They continued like this for a few more hours until both Cyn and Cullen were drained and could not continue any longer. She had made some progress. She could now keep her balance most times if she fought back hard enough. It was incredibly draining however and if she wasn’t completely focused, it would still topple her over. Their first goal is to give her the ability to stand the blast enough so she could drink a vial of Lyrium. Cullen assured her that he considered their first session a total success. 

Cyn’s training with the Commander continued whenever it was possible. With the exhaustion both of them felt from their day to day responsibilities, the progress was slow but steady. Cyn also started to train her magical skills with Solas who was a fantastic teacher. However small rifts needed to be closed, the Inquisition had to continue strengthening their ties and recruitment was a constant need. These functions would frequently take Cyn away for days and weeks at a time. 

After recruiting a large faction of mages to the Inquisition, Haven was bustling with activity as they prepared to close the large rift in the sky. Cyn had returned quite late from their last mission. Cassandra, Solas and Varric turned down Cyn’s invitation to the tavern. Cyn on the other hand wasn’t ready to turn in so she decided to pay a late night visit to the Commander. He was likely still up, the man hardly ever slept. 

She walked to the tent near the now quiet training grounds outside the walls of Haven and said “Knock knock Commander!” as she entered. 

Cullen sat up in surprise, spilling his ink pot and blurted “Herald!” then sat back down, “you surprised me. I didn’t know you were back.”

“I said, knock knock.” she smiled and Cullen couldn’t help but smile back, “We just arrived actually and I figured you’d still be up. So I came to say hi and also to tell you, get some rest.” 

Cullen laughed, “Well I outrank you so, I’m afraid there’s not much you can do.”

“Well then as a friend maybe? Humor me, get some sleep Cullen.” She said, concerned for her Commander. His eyes were red, he looked drained today. 

“I… Even when I do get some rest, it doesn’t feel very… restful.” he said, “Eventually I figure, if I'm not going to sleep, I may as well be doing something useful. There’s so much to do.”

Cyn frowned with concern and cocked her head slightly, “Well hopefully once the rift is closed you can relax a bit and finally get a bit of peace.”

“Yes, well, enough about me, all I do is paperwork and yell at soldiers all day.” he laughed, “How are you?”

“I’m good now that I’m back. It’s... nice to see you.” she smiled softly and held his gaze until he looked away and rubbed his neck. 

“Oh?” is all he managed to blurt out. Cyn lowered her gaze a bit embarrassed. Maybe he had someone waiting for him out there. She never thought to ask. 

“So, what is all this insane amount of paperwork you’re always working on? Any letters to family… or friends or someone like that?” 

“All requisitions, reports and orders. Communication with outposts and agents. Reports from Josephine and Leliana. And, well I guess one angry letter from Mia.” He chuckled at this.

“Mia?” Cyn’s heart was beating faster than she would have liked to admit.

“My eldest sister… despite the amount of paperwork I write you’d think I would remember to write to my family. Lucky for me she always seems to be able to track me down to remind me how bad of a brother I am.” 

Cyn exhaled, she had been holding her breath without even realizing. “You have siblings?” 

“Two sisters and a brother.” he said.

“Where are they now?” she asked.

“They left Denerim after the blight.” he explained, “I haven’t seen them in a long time.” Cyn could tell he missed his family. Must be nice, she thought. 

“It’s nice to know you have some people out there who care about you.” Cyn hope she didn’t sound too jaded when saying this. 

“What about you Cyn, is there no one out there waiting for you? I know your family situation is strained but… A wonderful woman like you must have made some friends.” it was his turn to gaze at her with his piercing honeyed brown eyes. 

She looked at him with a bit of confusion from the mixed messages she felt from him. He constantly went from caring to distant, interested to disinterested, casual to formal. “I did make friends yes however they are far and few in between. I did get along with my brother Erik actually. Which is surprising considering he's Templar and a member of my family. He joined the order mostly to get away from my parents. He was also hoping to be able to guard me. I think he knew the type of Templars my parents liked to hire to watch over me.”

“You should write to him Cyn.” said Cullen softly.

“Says the man who just told me his sister sends him angry letters.” her eyes sparkled with mischievousness, “Besides, I have no idea where he is now that the Order is fragmented.”

Cullen laughed, “Hey I also said I was a bad brother so don’t follow my lead.” . 

Cyn loved when he smiled, especially when she made him smile. She observed his features, taking in his manliness and sighing internally. She wanted so much to say something. But she kept getting the sense that the Commander wasn’t really in the right frame of mind to hear out these feelings. She typically wasn’t shy when she was attracted to someone. But with him, she was afraid of what it might mean if he turned her down. There was no way she could hide if he did. She yawned as the exhaustion from the day started to take over. She bid the Commander good night and took her leave with a grin. 

Cyn was in the circle tower her parents had hid her in. There were Templars watching her every move. The entrance door barged open and Cullen walked in, sword and shield in hand looking menacing. He launched himself at the Templars and quickly dispatched them. He held out his hand and said, “Come, let’s get out of here.” Holding hands they ran into the woods until they found a small cabin. 

As soon as they entered, Cullen reached around her waist and pulled her against him. He plunged his tongue into her mouth passionately. She returned his kiss with fervor. He reached under her robe and felt for her breasts with his hands, gently massaging and squeezing until he made his way to her nipple and flicked it’s sensitive tip. She moaned loudly, causing her to release his lips and throw her head back in pure pleasure. He reached for her exposed neck, covering her with a trail of kisses, licks and bites. She reached for his pants and released his hard cock holding it between one of her hands, barely making it around his girth, squeezing. He was so hard. She could feel him throbbing for her. He released her breasts and removed her small clothes covering her heat. He ran a finger along her sensitive lips stopping at her clit to give it a bit of attention. She cried out, “Oh Cullen, I need you inside me.” 

He had been waiting for her to say this, he grabbed her by the ass and lifted her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. He pressed her up to the wall as he continued to lift her higher, she tilted her hips in anticipation as he lowered her slowly onto him, giving her time to adjust to his size. She arched her back and gasped at the sensation. He moaned, as he penetrated deeply into her, she was so tight and wet. Both breathing heavily, sharing lustful kisses anywhere they could reach, she rocked her hips to his thrusts. He could feel the heat build up inside her, she was close. All he had to do was reach for her nipple and pinch it firmly. Then he felt her walls press up against his hard cock. She gasped in pleasure, gripped his hair as the wave crashed into her. Her writhing from his touch sent Cullen over the edge. Cyn feeling his body tense whispered, “Oh yes, come for me.” He pushed in deeper as he rested his head in her neck and enjoyed the release. 

Cullen woke up aroused. One of these rare times he actually fell asleep and had a dream! An actual dream, not those damned Lyrium infused nightmares. And what a dream that was, he thought. Maker she was beautiful and so sexy. He hadn’t realized how attracted he was to her until he took the time to really think about how he felt. Her dark brown hair and emerald green eyes. And those curves, he pictured her body in detail from head to toe. Her dark leather armor left almost nothing to the imagination and his imagination was filling in the rest of the details quite easily. But he shouldn’t be thinking about her like that. There is a war. He had duties. Plus what type of lover could he be to a noble woman, he isn’t a noble and then there’s the effects of the withdrawal. No, he is the Commander of the Inquisition, lives depended on him. Plus, she wouldn’t go for it either. Probably. But, even if she did, it doesn’t matter, he shouldn’t be thinking such thoughts right now anyway.

Cullen was still thinking about last night’s dream. He shook his head to get the image of her out of his mind for the millionth time. He wasn’t certain if he was imagining the way she looked at him the night before. And yet, how could he even be thinking about this? The Inquisition should be his focus not his personal desires. He tried to push her out of his thoughts again by reading through his reports. It wasn’t working. He rested his head into his hands and closed his eyes briefly. 

“Commander?” Cullen looked up at Captain Rylen, “I have reviewed the latest names of Templars requesting to join our order. Many of them have been seen indiscriminately attacking mages. However there are a number of individuals that I would recommend. I’ve got the list here.” Rylen added the report to the stacks of paper on Cullen’s desk. 

“Thank you Captain. Maker knows it would be nice to have more trained soldiers in our ranks with the number of new recruits we’ve been getting.” he said, glancing at the report scanning the names to see if he recognized any of them. One particular name jumped out at him on the list, Erik Trevelyan. 

“Agreed Commander.” said Rylen, sitting across Cullen’s desk.

Send some men to recruit these Templars and take them back to Haven.” he ordered.

‘Aye Commander.” said Rylen. Then his gaze became more casual and he added, “How are the Lyrium withdrawals Cullen?”

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger, “I wish I could tell you it was going well and it was easy. But it’s not. I’ve got headaches, insomnia, mood swings. It’s not pretty. I would wait a bit longer to see how I fare in the next few weeks before trying yourself.”

“The healers can’t do anything for you?” asked Rylen. 

“Well, there’s a tea I can take to help with the symptoms. To be honest, I don’t drink it often enough. I just get distracted and then forget.”

“I see.” he said darkly, “If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. I know you like to bare your responsibilities on your own however many of us are looking at you to see how you fare without Lyrium. Not to mention, we’ve known each other a long time.”

“Thank you Rylen. The thought is appreciated however I’m not certain what anyone else could do.” he sighed.

“I can assist with training, deal with some of the paperwork. Give you some time to rest and allow your body to adapt.” he suggested.

“I will… consider it.” said Cullen despite being uncomfortable with the thought of letting others take over his responsibilities. 

Cyn had a bit of time so she went to the training grounds in the hopes of finding Cullen. The mood was rather subdued, the soldiers were training but you could tell they were tired as it neared the end of the day. 

“Inquisitor!” saluted Captain Rylen, “How may I help you?”

“I was hoping to find the Commander actually. Is he not here?” she asked.

“I’m afraid he’s away on business at the moment but if there’s anything that I could assist you with my Lady?” he smirked flirtatiously. She was taken aback by his bold advance and his sudden charm. “Were you looking to spar perhaps? I would be happy to help you train.”

Cyn had a hard time saying no to a good sparring session, “Alright Captain. Let’s fight.” she said. As soon as they got into position, training daggers in each hand and sword and shield in his, the usual crowd gathered to watch. Rylen was a skilled warrior, his reflexes were quick and he was able to anticipate many of her attacks. 

“I watched you spar with Sera, so I’ve been studying your style. You’re incredibly talented. Quick, cunning… flexible.” he smirked as he swung the training sword.

“Ah then I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage. I’ve never seen you in action Captain.” she said as she twirled to quickly get around his shield.

“We can change that you know.” he winked. 

She tried to land a hit on his back but he angled his shield just enough to block her. This led him to lose his balance. 

Cullen had returned to the training grounds and saw Rylen and Cyn sparring together. A surprising pang of jealousy hit him. He scolded himself internally and reminded himself of his duties and… and… he watched her as she spun and hit Rylen in the back who seemed to have lost his balance and landed on his back a bit too easily. She landed, straddling Rylen with both daggers at his throat. Well that is quite enough of that, thought Cullen, feeling greedy despite himself. 

“And it looks like you’ve won that one. Best 2 out of 3?” asked Rylen. Cyn smiled and helped him back up, he allowed himself to stand close to her and lingered for a few seconds. 

“Herald, Captain,” said the Commander in a sharp tone. 

“Oh! Commander! You’ve returned.” said Rylen, slightly disappointed. 

“Ah, Commander, I had actually come here looking for you. It’s getting a bit late but I would have time to train with you for a little while.” she had quickly left the Captain’s side and joined the Commander.

Cullen thought for a few seconds, he had some urgent reports that needed his attention but, he shifted his eyes to Rylen who was standing by, probably wanting to continue with Cyn other wise. The reports could wait a little, he convinced himself. He ignored the little voice at the back of his head that said if he wasn’t supposed to be listening to his feelings, he shouldn’t be accepting to train her right now. But, she did need that training, he countered the voice in his head, this could be life or death for her. 

“No it’s not too late. It will get dark soon so let’s use the basement of the Chantry tonight.” he said. He tried not to pay attention to the excitement he was feeling that he was going to get to catch her and hold her while she recovered from his blasts... of energy.


	6. He Loves me Not

They had succeeded at closing the large rift and the world was safe for now. A collective sigh of relief was heard in all of Haven. They were celebrating until a strange man ran to the gates. 

“You must run!” he exclaimed, “He’s coming for the Herald and will destroy everything in his path!”

A gigantic army of Templar soldiers was advancing on Haven led by a huge dragon. Cullen was now in full Commander mode, ordering the evacuation of the town, directing his soldiers and consulting with Leliana. 

They retreated to the Chantry where they were shown a hidden escape tunnel that would lead them into the mountains. One problem remained however, the dragon was actively destroying Haven looking for the Herald. The Herald had to meet with this dragon… or archdemon... while everyone escaped. 

“Maybe you will find a way… take it by surprise?” the Commander said to Cyn thinking it may be the last time he might see her. Their eyes met, they looked at each other for several seconds both wishing they could say more. And then returned to their roles, she the Herald of Andraste, him the Commander of the Inquisition.

“Cyn” called Cullen amongst the chaos as they departed from each other, “Maker watch over you.”

Cyn stayed behind for the final blow against Corypheus after she sent Blackwall, Sera and Dorian away. She mysteriously found herself in an underground cave that led to the Chantry’s basement. When she came to, she followed the secret path that was described to her. 

She walked for what seemed like days in deep snow and howling winds through a mountain path and yet that same night as she walked over the top of a hill she heard Cullen’s voice in the distance, “Over here, there she is!” She knew she was going to be ok now. She let herself collapse from the cold and exhaustion. Cullen gathered her up into his strong warm arms and carried her back to camp as he whispered prayers to the Maker under his breath holding her as close as he could.

Solas led the survivors of Haven to a fortress called Skyhold. It is deep in the mountains, but very defendable. Shortly after they arrived, Cassandra, Leliana and Josephine cornered Cyn and asked her to take over as leader of the Inquisition. As she stood in front of the crowd, she found herself wondering if Cullen had agreed to this as well. She located him in the crowd and he gave her a beautiful smile and an encouraging nod that seemed to convey “come on, you can do it”. Against the little voice in her head telling her to run away, she accepted.

Cyn had finished exploring another wing of the massive keep when she found herself back in the inner courtyard. She spotted her Commander directing his captains in, barking orders and signing paperwork. She smiled seeing how passionately we was carrying himself. They hadn’t been able to train since the evacuation of Haven and with all the work required to setup at Skyhold, they’d barely spoken to each other. She missed talking with him. 

“Hello Commander.” she said once the crowd of people around him had mostly dissipated.

“Inquisitor!” he seemed surprised to see her. He waved his hand dismissively at the remaining people and they left at once, “It’s a wonder that we can find each other at all in this stronghold.”

“Inquisitor. Sounds odd, doesn’t it?” she was having trouble getting used to her new title.

“Not at all.” he replied.

“Oh is that the official response.” she quipped. 

“Yes, well, no.” he rubbed his neck, “What I mean is, it makes sense. We needed a leader on the front lines and you’re the one with the ability and the will and not to mention you’ve been calling the shots for the last while anyways.” 

“It’s been a team effort. I couldn’t do this without you… uh and any of you.” she tried to ignore the heat rushing to her cheeks. It was getting difficult for her not to openly flirt with him. “I’m glad we were able to escape Haven.” There was a long, awkward pause between them. It was too much, she took a step, about to walk away when he finally spoke.

“Cyn you… back in Haven I essentially left you to die. And when I found you in the mountains you were in such pain. I just…” he sighed loudly, reconsidering his words, “The same thing won’t happen here, of this I promise you Inquisitor.” 

She smiled, all while wishing she could fall into his arms but he was using her title at the oddest moments, like he was trying to keep a certain distance between them when things got too personal. She sighed internally but smiled nonetheless. 

Cyn liked to take walks on the battlements of Skyhold. She would take in the views of the tall mountains surrounding the keep. It usually calmed her mind and gave her somewhere to gather her thoughts. Today however, she was trying to talk some sense into herself in regards to her infatuation with her Commander. At first she thought it was a physical attraction. She visualized his piercing eyes, strong cheekbones, broad shoulders. His deep and voice and commanding presence. She would often look at him train his men from the battlements enjoying seeing him in his element, how he moved with such confidence and passion. The power that radiated from him was intoxicating. And not to mention the dreams...

The more she got to know him, the more she started finding other reasons to appreciate the man that he is. Like how sweet and caring he was for her safety. How he rubbed his neck when he was nervous. How they shared many of the same beliefs about the world. She liked that he was open minded about magic and this is despite being an ex-Templar. How he showed genuine care for the soldiers he was training. How strong and determined he was in his convictions. 

Sometimes she thought he might feel the same way and then she wasn’t so sure. She would like to simply tell him how she felt, but what if he resented her for wanting something essentially selfish in a time of such chaos. He told her many times how dedicated he was to the Inquisition. He poured all his blood, sweat and tears into the cause. Yet, some days he looked like he was in such pain all she wanted to do was comfort him. 

So the big question today was, does she forget these feelings and bury them deep inside or should she say something? Would it be awkward working together if he turned her down? She sighed and stared at the mountains in the distance when a voice came from behind her.

“Everything all right Cyn? You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Oh wait, you DO have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” mocked Dorian. 

“Hey there Dorian.” she smiled, “Thanks a lot for that, I feel so much better.” she said elbowing him in the ribs playfully. 

“But really, what’s on your mind, my dear? You look completely anguished.” 

“Oh, you know… the usual stuff that leaders who fight evil to save the world usually have on their minds, whether their crush likes them back.” she said half sarcastically. 

“Wait, what? Are you serious?” 

“Oh yea” she rolled her eyes, “I could do the easy thing and just ask him but you know… What if things get weird? What if he thinks less of her for having personal desires and not giving everything to the cause. What if he says no?”

“Oh maker, you’re talking about Cullen!” he exclaimed.

“What gave it away? The bit on not giving everything to the cause?” Dorian nodded, “He’d be right you know.”

“Let me ask you, is this the real thing or just a: you really need to get laid by a sexy ex-Templar thing? Because, he is one steamy piece of work.”

“Is both a good answer?” she quipped as she leaned on the edge of the battlement and buried her head in her hands.

“It is likely the most honest answer because my dear, you definitely need to get laid. And by the maker so does he.” He put his hand on her back in comfort, “Wow, our little inquisitor is growing up and falling in love with her commander.”

“Very funny Dorian.” she turned to look at him, “But seriously, do you think he would go for it? Should I tell him?” 

“I don’t know and yes.” he replied matter of factly.

“But… what if-” she started.

“But you’ll never know unless you say something. Worst case do a rain check with him for after the war.” She gave him a unconvinced look, “Think of it this way then. You or him may die in this chaos and you would regret it if you hadn’t even tried.”

“Well there’s a grim thought.” she said.

“Sometimes that’s the best way to put things in perspective, no?” 

“Could you do me a favor then Dorian?” she looked at him with the cutest eyes she could muster, “Could you talk to him… just to see if he’d be open to considering being a relationship right now?”

Dorian laughed, “Are we children sweetheart? I’m getting all sorts of nasty flashbacks from my rambunctious teenage years!”

“Pleaaase Dorian? Don’t tell him anything I just want a general sense of whether it’s something he would even consider you know?” she pleaded.

“Well, I’ll think about it. But only because you are being so damned cute.” He pulled her into a friendly hug, “Also you should come to the tavern tonight, the gang is getting together to have a drink and release some steam.”

“On behalf of the Inquisition, welcome Templar Trevelyan.” said Cullen. Erik had darker brown hair than Cyn, but the same colored eyes and general features. It was obvious that this was her brother. 

“Thank you Knight-Captain Rutherford.” saluted Erik, “or… it’s Commander now isn’t it?” he corrected himself. 

“Yes, but don’t worry about it. It’s nice to have you amongst our ranks. Truth be told, I’ve heard that the Inquisitor’s relationship with her family is rather strained. I’m glad that she at least has a brother on her side. I think she will be happy to see you.” said Cullen as they walked the grounds. 

“Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing my her. Where could I find her, er, once we are done here of course.” he said.

“Nonsense, you have not seen each other in a very long time. If any of my siblings came here I would want to see them at once! Follow me.” he smiled and motioned for Erik to follow him.

“So my sister has actually spoken to you about our family has she?” said Erik.

“She did, reluctantly. We, unfortunately, didn’t give her much of a choice. We know you don’t agree with your parent’s stance however when it comes to magic, otherwise you would not be here. As you can imagine, the Inquisitor does not want to see mages go back to the same Circle Towers that existed before.” he explained diplomatically. 

“I see.” said Erik thoughtfully, “I’m surprised that she would have said anything about her magical abilities at all. My parents… well lets just say they will hear about it and eventually react. How they will react however, I’m not certain. If ever they come here or if she has to go see them for some reason, I insist that I be with her. She will need me there.”

“Of course. It comforts me to know that she would have someone that understands her upbringing for something like this. The mere mention of your parents causes her a lot of anxiety.” Cullen liked the type of brother Erik seemed to be for Cyn, “What was your rank and your experience in the Order before it dissolved?” 

“I was a Templar Knight assigned to the Circle Tower in Orlais ser.” he responded.

“Good. You know, I could use another skilled Templar to train the droves of new recruits the Inquisition has been attracting. Getting them all ready for war has been one of our biggest challenges and I cannot in good conscience send untrained men to their deaths. I suspect you may not have trained other men yet however you have the knowledge and with a bit of practice, you will do well.”

“Of course ser. I would be happy to share my knowledge and skills with new recruits.” he responded with a passion that Cullen recognized and appreciated immediately. 

They found Cyn at the blacksmithery getting several pieces of equipment repaired and modified. When she saw the Commander it took her several seconds for her eyes to register who was accompanying him. 

“Erik!?” she said in disbelief.

“You don’t recognize your own brother?” joked Erik. She ran towards him and hugged him tightly. Cullen silently watched them, missing his own siblings. He should really write to Mia before she scolded him again.

“But… how did you find us? Our location isn’t exactly easy to find or get to.” she asked still holding onto her brother’s arms. 

Erik looked at Cullen “The Commander here personally accepted my request to join and ensured I made my way here as soon as possible.”

Overcome with excitement Cyn rushed to hug the Commander as she mumbled several thank yous in a row. Cullen blushed at the sudden show of affection but still returned her embrace albeit a bit awkwardly. “Sorry, I’m sure you thought that was unprofessional” said Cyn with a smile as she freed him from her hug, “But you deserved it.” she winked. 

Cullen rubbed his neck uncomfortably, “Oh, that’s, uh, fine. You’re welcome but I’m just lucky he found us.” Cullen’s dream of her flashed in his mind as the length of her body parted from his. He pushed the thought out but he was already flushed. Her brother was right beside them for crying out loud. Why does she have to be so… amazing. 

Erik observed his sister and the Commander suspiciously. The last time he saw her looking at someone that way was… well a very long time ago. And by the Commander’s reaction, it certainly looked like something was there. He was going to have to ask his sister what this is all about. 

Blackwall brought back another round of drinks. They had all been having a great evening, sharing stories over ales. 

“So how’s training your magical powers going Boss?” said The Iron Bull. 

‘It’s… going. Why do you ask?” she said. 

“Well I’m feeling sorta wound up and I could use a bit of abuse. I was thinking we could go to the training grounds and spar. I need you to zap me with some of your powers. It will be good for both of us. I’ll toughen up and you get practice.”

“You want to do that right now?” she asked bewildered.

“Yeah! Now’s the best time, we’ve had a great night, we’re all energized and had a few ales.” He winked, “Trust me.”

Cyn thought about it. She did have some… pent up energy to burn. “Alright, I'm in.” 

Varric exclaimed “Oh this should be good.” 

Sera clapped her hands with excitement. 

“I want in on this.” said Blackwall. 

“You’re nuts.” added Dorian as he turned to Erik, “I’m not sure if this wild streak runs in your family or if your sister is just crazy, but apparently, seems she likes to hit others for fun.”

Erik laughed, “I’d say it’s probably a bit of both.”

The group left the tavern like a bunch of happy drunks speaking loudly and bursting into laughter. The training grounds were partially lit, perfect for a midnight spar. Plus, being able to practice her spells with her dagger combos would be fun with Bull.

She grabbed 2 wooden daggers while Bull was simply going to defend with his bare hands. She launched her first attack, adjusting to the tipsiness of the alcohol in her blood. Her first few swings were clumsy and missed. 

“Come on Boss. Put some feeling into it.” he taunted loudly.

“I’m just getting warmed up, it’s coming.” she promised. Once she got used to the way her limbs were moving. A bit slower than usual and a bit more to the right. She was able to fall into her dance. She started to circle Bull in quick movements, gracefully ducking his fists that were trying to grab onto her. Fighting the big Qunari was always fun because she could use her agility to confuse him. Ducking under his legs, jumping over his arms. She could back flip off his back then as he would lunge at her she would simply use him as a step to launch herself forward. Now however, she was adding her magical abilities to help her move more quickly. Giving her extra speed bursts, helping her jump higher and landing more softly. When her daggers connected with him she sent small shocks through them making Bull grunt. 

Every so often he would manage to get her into a hold. She would then have the opportunity to use her magic to help free herself from him. 

“Oh come on Boss.” he screamed, “Are you just trying to turn me on, your shocks are only tickling. Let it loose, make me want to release you!” 

He had her in a really good grip. He was bent over her, holding both her arms behind her back with one hand. The other held her against his chest. The only way to get out of this was to give him a jolt. “If you say so!” she said and released a good but brief wave of magical electricity. He gave a yelp and immediately released her. 

“Grrrr! Yea that was painful.” He jumped in place while shaking off the pain with pleasure. He loved this masochistic stuff, “Good one Boss. You’ve been holding back.”

“Of course I’ve been holding back! That wasn’t even half power.” she teased.

“Bring it on!” he bellowed. 

“Bull, you’re insane.” said a voice from behind them. Everyone turned to see Cullen standing with his arms crossed looking at them amused.

“Andraste’s tits, it’s the Commander!” exclaimed Varric, “Nice of you to join us. Did we cause too much ruckus for you to focus on your midnight paperwork or were you looking at sparring with our lovely Inquisitor?” he mocked.

“Actually Varric, yes to both of your questions,” said Cullen with a straight face, “I would like to test the Inquisitor’s abilities.” he turned to her with a small playful smile. 

“Well that’s a good sign, right Cyn?” teased Dorian. Cyn pretended not to hear him. 

“No Cullen, no tests. We’re having fun here tonight.” she winked, “And, it’s Cyn.”

“I... Fair enough.” he took off his cloak. “Lets have some fun Cyn.” He wasn’t currently wearing his armor. Cyn realised it was the first time she saw him in just a simple shirt and trousers. She got to admire his large strong arms, wide shoulders and chest tapering with delicious hints of the ripple of his abs. 

“Bring it on Commander.” she challenged. Dorian was on the sidelines giggling with glee and whispered to Cyn to close her mouth and wipe her drool. She shot him a look that said “Shut up!”. He didn’t.

Cullen and Cyn faced each other momentarily, both smiling mischievously. Cyn was running her moves in her head trying to plan and anticipate his ahead of time. And then she went in and the dance started. Without the weight of his armor, Cullen was much quicker and agile than she’d ever observed. It took her by surprise and he was able to grab onto her almost immediately. He held her in a half bind, right up against his chest, wooden sword at her throat. 

“You’re quick without your armor!” she exclaimed. She released a small jolt of electricity and he released her with a surprised yelp. 

“Stings doesn’t it hey Commander!” Bull said, laughing.

“Underestimating your opponent. That’s part of basic training. Maybe you should join the next session for the new recruits.” he taunted shaking off the jolt from his hands.

“Hey! No test remember?” she sassed. 

With this she launched into an impressive jump that landed on his side. She ducked in a near split while still moving forward and pirouetted around to face his back, before he could turn she grabbed him by the neck and put one of her legs behind his, forcing him to fall onto his back. As soon as he landed however he was quick to parry her daggers with his sword, grabbed one of her wrists with his free hand and used her weight to pull himself up. As he tried to grab her, she slipped backwards through his arms and over his legs and landed a hit on his back with a small jolt. 

The others cheered them on. The guards on duty in the area kept glancing over at their Commander fighting their Inquisitor. A few other late night goers started gathering around for the entertainment. 

“Impressive comeback.” he complimented. She winked at him playfully. “Let’s, uh, let’s see how you defend.” He skillfully launched himself forward, she angled her body so he couldn't connect but she recognized this signature Templar maneuver a moment too late. As quick as he moved in one direction he changed directions smacking her lightly on her now undefended thigh with the wide side of the blade making a loud smack sound. Surprised she gasped and yelped. 

“You can see the tell by the angle of my foot. That should have warned you I was going to change directions.” he couldn’t help teaching.

“Ok stop hogging the Inquisitor.” said Blackwall, “You’re not the only one that can teach her a thing or two.” 

“Actually, I think I’ve had enough for tonight.” said Cyn. The others grunted in disappointment. The group eventually disbanded and went their separate ways. Except Cyn who followed Cullen like a little puppy. 

“Cullen, are you going to sleep right away?” she asked.

“Oh, I don’t think sleep is in my cards tonight.” he said with a sigh. They arrived into his office and he poured himself a small glass of cognac offering one to Cyn. 

“Oh, thanks but I’m good, that won’t go well with the ale.” she said as they sat across from each other by a small table. He suddenly looked very tired.

“Are you sure you’re not tired?” she frowned with concern.

He looked down at his glass and swirled the contents he seemed to be debating something and then decided to speak, “You know how Templars have to take Lyrium right?” he looked up momentarily to see her response, she nodded, “Well, after leaving the order I decided not to take it anymore. It’s been… very challenging. But don’t worry about my abilities Inquisitor, I have an understanding with Cassandra that she is to relieve me of my duties if I am unable to perform them adequately.”

“By the maker Cullen, I’m not worried about your abilities. I mean, can’t this... kill you?” she asked full of worry.

“I appreciate your concern but please don’t worry. I didn’t want to tell you actually, you have so much on your mind already… “ he said as he lowered his gaze, unable to look into her eyes.

“Cullen…” she whispered, she thought she saw him shiver, “Does it hurt?”

“Yes, but nothing I can’t endure. Headaches, moments of weakness and inability to sleep are the worst of symptoms… and of course there is the temptation.” he looked darkly at a box sitting on a shelf above his desk. Likely Lyrium she guessed.

She reached over the table and put her hand over his, “I understand and I think you’re doing the right thing. You haven’t ceased to amaze me you know.” she said encouragingly. 

He looked deeply into her eyes for several blissful seconds. He then cleared his throat and rubbed his neck, “I… I’m glad I have your support but I’m certainly not sure what’s so amazing about me. I’m ordinary at best. I was a bad Templar, am a bad brother and an now an ex-Templar and ex-addict trying to redeem himself by commanding the armies of the Inquisition.” 

“You’re insane.” she said with disbelief. How could he see himself that way? 

Cullen followed her with his eyes and added with a smirk, “You’re right, I forgot to add that I’m insane too.”

“You know, I like to think I’ve gotten to know you,” she stood and started pacing, “Being a Templar, especially right now, isn’t easy. You were there when the Order fell apart! And from everything I’ve heard you were one of the good Templars. You didn’t abuse mages, you opposed your Knight-Commander when the time came and you were strong enough to leave the Order. You stand for what you believe in, that takes immense strength! Don’t you see?” she sat back down across from him. He lowered his eyes. She put her hand under his chin and gently raised his head so she could look at him, so he could see her sincerity, “Everyone in the Inquisition respects and admires you... including me.” she took a breath, “I was wondering if… well, you see, I think about you a lot and… Cullen I like you...I...” she hesitated and paused to get a sense of where he was, give him a chance to react as a knot formed in her stomach.

Cullen blinked, incredulous. She saw his gaze shift slightly, as if he was going to say something but then reconsidered and then he pulled away, “I’m sorry... I’m not sure I can return those feelings right now, Inquisitor.”

Inquisitor… her heart sank and she felt a sting in her chest. Oh maker, it hurt more than she expected. She had to get out of there. She stood and blurted, “Y-Yes of course. It’s late I should go. Good night.” She turned on her heels and left the room as quickly as she could without running. At least she had her answer now. He’s the Commander and she’s the Inquisitor. Tears formed and blurred her vision as she ran to her room.


	7. The World can Wait

As the Inquisition became more established, nobles from all over Thedas were coming to Skyhold to explore alliances of convenience and to seize opportunities for power. Josephine handled most of the transactions however since Cyn was at Skyhold, she was brought in strategically to meet certain figures. As for Cullen, he was busy training a fresh set of recruits. Aside from their war room meetings, they didn’t get the chance to spend any time together since the last incident. Not that Cyn tried to find the time, in fact, she was actively trying to avoid him. 

“Ambassador Montilyet?” an agent approached them discreetly, “The Trevelyan’s have arrived at the keep and are demanding to see the Inquisitor.” 

Cyn’s face turned white. She wasn’t expecting them, much less deal with them. Noticing Cyn’s reaction, Josephine told the agent, “Stall them for the moment.” The agent nodded and took her leave.

“Tell them I’m not here.” said Cyn, her anger rising at the thought of seeing her parents.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think that would be wise,” said Josephine cautiously. “I assume you’ve been reading the reports. Your parents have been very outspoken that you are their daughter and have influenced a lot of nobles to join our cause.”

“Which doesn’t make any sense.” Cyn pondered

“They are helping us because they know they no longer have anything to keep you under their control Cyn. You are a famous figure which threatens to expose their secrets to the whole world. Also, it would be much more difficult to kill you while you’re in the spotlight.”explained Josephine as if it was obvious.

“Right, so then why are they here then?” she asked defiantly.

“That is harder to say.” said Josephine as she rifled through papers, “I received no reports that hinted that they were planning on visiting Skyhold. No mention that anything out of the ordinary happened. Leliana is usually on top of these things. So this tells me that your parents did this on a whim or we missed something.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Leliana and Cullen. Leliana held her usual calm demeanor but Cullen was visibly annoyed. 

“I assume you have both heard?” said Josephine. They nodded.

“How is our Inquisitor taking the news?” asked Leliana, looking at Cyn with mild amusement.

“Could we just kill them?” asked Cyn desperately, “It would simplify everything and justice for my whole life would be served.”

“Cyn!” exclaimed Josephine, “You can’t be serious!”

“Oh I’m serious. You have no idea…” she said darkly crossing her arms as she looked off into the distance. 

“I agree with the Inquisitor.” said Cullen, he looked at her with such sadness, “Her parents managed to find the training grounds and started to harass our Templars. We need them out of here.”

“It would be very difficult to do this now and not have it traced back to us. We wouldn’t want the murders to happen here or shortly after they leave Skyhold.” said Leliana.

“But, Inquisitor, this is your family we are talking about!” exclaimed Josephine in horror. 

“They are my family by blood but not by bond.” Cyn would never be able to forgive them, “How about I tell them to leave and never come back? Then we can discuss getting rid of them for good?”

“There is a lot of nobility in Skyhold right now, if we’re seriously considering this course of action, we must not lose any allies we’ve made in the process,” said Josephine, “You should meet with them. We could still get some valuable information. Whatever you do don’t agree to anything or give any information. And don’t assume we will actually go through with your plan Inquisitor. Let’s keep our options open.”

Cyn sighed audibly and buried her face in her hands “Yes… fine.” she resigned.

“I will send for Erik for you Inquisitor.” said Cullen.

“Oh, yes, thank you Commander.” she said with mild relief to know she would have Erik by her side. 

Cyn left Josephine’s office when she heard Cullen, “Inquisitor? Inquisitor, may I have a moment please?” He had been trying to catch her eye during their discussion. She had left rather quickly in the hopes of avoiding him but he had run after her. She initially tried to pretend she hadn’t heard as she ducked into a hallway that led down to an unused part of the keep’s basement. “Cyn, please!” He said her actual name. In public. This was serious. She stopped to face him. “Where are you going?”

“I… was going to scope out these rooms of the keep for… to… see if my parents...” she stammered. 

“No, you were avoiding me.” he crossed his arms and looked at her with contempt. 

“What? No, why would I… do that?” she lied. She was taught to lie professionally, yet she simply couldn’t lie to him. Not to mention he turned her brain to mush every time he got near. And now he was mad at her. Maker he was sexy when he was mad. 

“You’re a surprisingly bad liar Cyn. Ever since you left in a hurry the night I told you about the Lyrium you haven’t even been able to look at me.” he said angrily with a twinge of sadness hidden in his eyes. He was hurt. But what else could she say? She already told him she was interested and he rejected her. 

“Why do you think I’ve been avoiding you?” she exclaimed in pure frustration. She wasn’t going to repeat herself, “Look Commander, you know very well why I bolted out of your office that night. I put myself out there and you made yourself clear. So unless you’re here to change your answer…” she sighed angrily, “You know what, I don’t want to talk about it. No, from now on, we keep things professional between us.” 

“But…” he stammered, “At least let me explain-”

“I don’t need an explanation right now Commander! By the maker my PARENTS are here. Please, just go get Erik and tell him to meet me in my quarters.” she commanded and then quickly side stepped around him and stormed off. After she turned the corner, she heard him punch the wall in frustration. She didn’t have time to think about this, she had to deal with her parents. Ugh, he could not have chosen a worse time to bring this up. 

She had to go find Erik, he would help calm her down. Maker knows she would need all the patience she could muster and right now… well lets just say she wanted to punch a wall too.   
After several minutes, Erik found her pacing around in her room. 

The Inquisition certainly spared no expense on her room. It was well decorated, had 2 large balconies and most importantly, a fireplace that kept the place nice and warm. Night and day from her little tent in Haven. She sat down at the table in the corner of her room buried her head in her hands, hiding the large tears rolling down her cheeks. Erik moved a chair to sit by her side and patted her on the back.

“Wow you are incredibly upset sis. I mean, I know it’s our parents but… I didn’t expect tears. Anger yes, but not sadness. What is going on?” he asked. 

“It’s Cullen.” she sobbed.

“The… Commander?” he asked bewildered. 

She sat up and took a few deep breaths to calm herself, “He’s just such a jerk!” Erik just looked at her waiting for her to explain herself, “So, a few days ago, I sort of, told him that I had feelings for him. He rejected me of course. I’m the Inquisitor and bla bla bla.” 

“Oh sis, I saw the way you looked at him with that sparkle in your eye. I’m sorry. He’s an idiot for turning you down.” he said saddened. Thing is, he saw the way the Commander looked at his sister that made his brotherly instincts stand on edge. But now that he turned her away he really wished he hadn’t hurt her. He would have been happy to see his sister with such a kind and caring man. 

“Yeah well, I knew he was all business. It’s just that sometimes, the real person came out and it was… nice... I guess. Anyway, just earlier he came to me asking why I was avoiding him. It’s like he was trying to open the wound again.” she said angrily. 

Erik thought about this and his brows pinched together in confusion, “Well, his timing was bad I agree but it doesn’t seem like his style to go around embarrassing people on purpose.” 

She scoffed, “Well apparently we don’t know him that well.”

“Ok, sis, we have to deal with our lovely parents so for now, let’s put this aside and we can talk about this more after alright?” he smiled at her. She sighed and they discussed their plan of attack to face their parents.

When her parents spotted them in the inner courtyard, they called out to her in pure delight and said some things about missing her. She was used to this greeting, this is how they acted in the public eye. 

“Mother, Father.” she said without emotion. She wasn’t going to play these games anymore. Her parents looked at her disapprovingly but there was something else in their eyes… fear. Cyn smiled inwardly, they were afraid of her. Oh how the tables had changed! 

“Follow me.” she ordered.

She led them to a room that had comfortable seating in front of a fireplace. She and Erik each sat on some soft upholstered chairs while their parents sat on a small sofa. They were unusually quiet. 

“Why are you here?” asked Erik after they sat in an awkward silence long enough. 

Her mother and father looked at each other and turned to them uncomfortably. Her mother’s mouth was smiling but her eyes were empty, she cleared her throat, “Well, as you may know, we’ve been helping you… gain momentum with the nobility in the Free Marches and Orlais. We were hoping that you had noticed and remember the vows you made to this family. There’s been rumours that you have been using your powers and-”

Erik stood in anger “You have to be joking! Your daughter is saving the world and all you can think about is your reputation?”

“Oh hush Erik, you’ve never really understood how power works. Without the nobility the Inquisition will not have the resources they count on to succeed. We could retract our support, start speaking against the Inquisition and...”

“Those are empty threats. Then what? Let Corypheus win and destroy the world?” Erik was fuming.

“It’s ok Erik.” she placed a hand on his forearm briefly and turned to her parents, “Unfortunately, even if I wanted to, I won’t be able to hide my magic any longer. The battles I am fighting are extremely perilous and to succeed I need everything that is at my disposal so even if I still wanted to hide my magical abilities, it just isn’t possible. I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to swallow your pride.” she said sarcastically. 

“You ungrateful little bitch!” said her mother as she closed the gap between them and slapped her across the face. “How DARE you? After everything we have done for you!”

Cyn didn’t flinch at her mother’s sting. She didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of showing that it hurt. Erik placed himself between his sister and their parents, “I think it’s time for both of you to leave!” he commanded.

“Hold on Erik. I want to know what our parent’s think they’ve done for me exactly.” Cyn stepped to stand beside Erik as she looked at both her parents.

“You know very well what we’ve done for you.” hissed her father.

“I think you’re confusing doing things “for” me with doing things “because” of me. Everything you’ve done has been because of my magic and how it affected you. The hiding, the training, and lets not forget the contract to keep my magic secret lest you have me killed.”

“That was to protect us all! Including you!” yelled her father his face turning red with rage. He pulled his sword causing Erik to do the same. 

Cyn was about to scream back when the door to their room opened and Cullen walked in. Cyn confused gaze met Cullen’s dark piercing eyes for a brief moment before he turned to her parents. He stared them down, his armour reflecting the dancing firelight, giving him an intimidating disposition. This was the warrior Cullen, going to battle for his Inquisitor. 

“Commander.” Cyn let the word escape her mouth in surprise. She suddenly felt very calm now that he was here. 

“I heard the commotion Inquisitor.” he answered without taking his eyes off her father, “do you wish me to escort these nobles off the premises?” 

She finally tore her eyes from her Commander and looked at per parents who had immediately froze in Cullen’s dominating presence. 

Her parents, knowing defeat left in a huff with Cullen personally escorting them out of Skyhold. She knew making her parents enemies would be dangerous but it felt so good to finally speak her mind. Erik and Cyn hugged for several long minutes. 

Dorian appeared in the doorway, “I came as soon as I heard about the parents.” 

“They’ve been dealt with… and if I can convince Josephine, I will have Leliana get rid of them once and for all.” she said looking at Erik for a reaction.

Erik wasn’t surprised at his sisters hatred for her parents however this seemed like a knee jerk reaction and perhaps a bit premature he thought, “Let's wait and see what they do. As long as they keep helping the Inquisition, I don’t see any reason to rush this… now if that changes then I will not hold it against you.” he then sat back down comfortably onto one fo the chairs and smirked. “So now that they’re dealt with, do you want to talk some more about Cullen dearest, whom, might I add, just did something completely badass for you, escorting our parents out of Skyhold. I can’t imagine Josephine will be very happy with him. Still, do you want me to beat him up for breaking your heart?” he asked.

Dorian’s eyes went wide, “He broke your heart?” 

She laughed, “Hold on now, I still have to work with him and try to get over him at the same time, that’s going to be tough but I’ve been through worse things. It’s just… I just thought he might be the one you know.” she confessed.

“But what happened exactly?” asked Dorian. Cyn explained the evening’s events that led to her admitting she had feelings for him. Omitting the Lyrium part since she figured Cullen wouldn’t want her repeating it.

“I don’t know sis,” said Erik, “It doesn’t sound like it’s as final as you think. I could see how he may have been caught off guard and didn’t know how to react.” 

“I agree.” said Dorian nodding contemplatively. 

“Well, he knows how I feel. I’m not going to keep throwing myself at him just in case he was too surprised.” she said half-heartedly. 

Erik and Dorian shared looks they both understood. They need to have a little chat with the Commander.

Dorian heard rumors that the Commander had been sulking at the Tavern for several hours now. Which was unlike him to say the least. This was the perfect time to edge a word in with him. Plus Cyn had the audacity to leave him behind while they went out in the field. He never liked it when she went out without him. Not that the others couldn’t watch over her but… he just knew he could do it better. He felt, out of everyone, he was the best girlfriend she had out of the group. Varric was good to her too and she did take him with her. It was the only reason he allowed Cyn not to take him along. 

Cullen was sitting alone at a table on the second floor. He looked up when Dorian sat down across from him. “No, please have a seat.” Cullen said sarcastically, clearly indicating that Dorian was not welcome. 

“Now now Commander, there’s no need for that attitude.” said Dorian, unphased by Cullen’s grumpiness. “Care to tell me what this is all about?”

“There’s nothing “about”. Am I not allowed to have a few drinks?” he said dismissively. 

“Right, because Commander Cullen Rutherford frequently sits and sulks in the corner of a tavern for hours on end while there’s reports sitting on his desk. You know if you brought the paperwork, you’d make this a bit more believable. But I’m not buying it, and I'm going to keep you company until you tell me what I want to hear.” 

Cullen looked away. He likely figured if he completely ignored Dorian maybe he would eventually get bored and go away. Instead, Dorian waved over a drink and slowly sipped on it, staring at Cullen in the most annoying way possible.

“You know as the Commander, I could have you thrown out.” he finally said.

“Oh, you know the moment our Inquisitor got back she would punish you and bring me back. But then maybe you’d like that?” he winked at Cullen. That had to get his attention, he thought.

Cullen stared at him uncomfortably, “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Oh come on, there’s more than one man around here that wouldn’t want a piece of that ass. I know it and I’m not even into women!” he joked. 

“Her a-?” he shook his head, “That would be… unprofessional for me to even think about. She’s the Inquisitor. She doesn’t have time for that and neither do I.” he argued. 

“Ah is that what this is about? Having the time and titles?” replied Dorian, “So if she wasn’t the Inquisitor, and neither of you were very busy, would you consider-”

Cullen interrupted him much too quickly, “No!” he said defensively.

“I see. Well, I get that we’re all very busy Commander. But I can tell you that there are other members of the Inquisition who find time for such things.”

“Oh really, like who?” he challenged and crossed his arms.

“Well, there’s a lot of people. Like cook Marion and one of your soldiers, Anton I think his name is. There’s also Marguerite, that noble from Orlais that has been running off with one of the stable boys. And, there’s me.”

“You? You’re joking. With who?” curiosity overtook Cullen and he had to ask.

“Bull.” he said. 

“You… and Bull? The Iron Bull? Big Qunari mercenary?” he asked quizzically.

“Yes that big sexy piece of muscle meat.” he added.

“Wow.” said Cullen, “I think I’m speechless. I’m… happy for you?”

“Thank you, it has been like a ray of sunshine in this mess of a world. Sure we’re busy, but we still have to go to bed at some point. Sleep is optional if you know what I mean.” he said, “But, I’ve taken enough time away from your brooding or pouting or whatever sad display I interrupted. You should take some time and get to know people Commander. If you’re waiting for the world to get back to normal, well, it’s possible that may never come.” 

His mission accomplished, Dorian left Cullen with a lot to think about. If that doesn’t get things going for Cyn, nothing would he thought.

Cyn was drained after an arduous mission being away for several weeks. She had spent that time doing her best to forget Cullen. But she was still thinking about him more than she wanted to. It was especially difficult now that she was back. He had become one of the first persons she would visit after being away. She would share with him juicy details of the mission that couldn’t go in reports. She would ask him for fighting tips on certain encounters that had stumped her. Ask for his advice on various decisions she needed to make. And somehow despite all the grim talks of the chaos, she would feel at peace with him. She had gotten over being rejected, now it was more that she missed how he had enriched her life and brought a bit of lightness to the darkness she faced every day. 

She reluctantly decided to go check the training grounds for her brother. The grounds were busy with Cullen and Rylen each training a group of new recruits. She still enjoyed seeing Cullen on the grounds but with a tint of bitter sweetness now. He spotted her as she approached and she quickly looked away. Her eyes scanned for Erik without any luck. She finally had to make a choice. To her left was Rylen and to her right was Cullen. She walked over to Rylen who gladly stepped away from the grounds to talk to her. 

“Inquisitor!” he exclaimed, “Welcome back! How was the mission in the Emerald Graves?”

“Grim and disturbing to say the least. I don’t think anyone would ever get used to fighting or smelling walking dead.” she said sighing, her exhaustion weighing on her, “Do you know where I might find Erik?”

“Ah, I’m sorry Cyn, your brother is out in the field teaching survival skills to some new recruits. We don’t expect him back until later tomorrow.”

Cullen had discreetly made his way near Cyn and Rylen and pretended to occupy himself organizing some nearby training weapons. It was probably not lost on him that she didn’t come and say hi anymore. 

“Oh…” said Cyn, disappointed.

“If you’d like some company, I’d be happy to meet you at the tavern.” he said stepping a bit closer to her.

She instinctively stepped back, “Oh um, no thanks Captain. I’m exhausted, I think I will retire to my quarters. The gang will meet at the tavern tomorrow evening however, you’re welcome to join us if you’d like.”

“Great, I will be there.” he said, attempting to mask his disappointment. She nodded curtly and walked away. Rylen stared at her swaying hips and let out a sigh. Cullen fumed. 

Cyn had been at the tavern for a good hour and was feeling light and tingly from the ales. She looked around the table and counted how many she now considered friends. And to have her brother in her life again was beyond words. And yet… she cast her gaze downwards and felt that stab that still crept up every time she thought about him. Even after telling herself to get over him, having to see him still made her heart jump in her chest when she heard his deep masculine voice, or looked in those dark amber eyes. She just needed more time, eventually, those feelings would have to pass. There are many other fish in the sea after all. She looked up at the tavern door and spotted Rylen and Cullen and had to quickly avoid Cullen’s gaze. Why does it seem like he is always looking at her? 

“Cyn! Those rosy cheeks look adorable on you!” said Rylen as he squeezed his way on the bench beside her causing Dorian to spill his drink and swear at him. 

And then there was Rylen she thought. Total opposite of Cullen. Forward and flirty. If only she felt anything for him, he may have been a better option, she thought. Or maybe… maybe she just needed to give the guy a proper chance. She took a big swig of ale. 

“Looks like you have some catching up to do my dear Captain.” she taunted. He beamed at her. He was certainly capitalizing on the attention she was finally giving him. They chatted, drank and laughed. But, every so often she would look across the other end of their table, above the boisterous laughter, and her eyes would cross Cullen’s. She would then look back at Rylen who was still talking and quite oblivious at her lack of focus. Rylen’s blue eyes simply didn’t have the same effect on her. She got up to get some more drinks from the bar and Rylen followed her. 

“Cyn, can we talk for a second.” he grabbed her wrist and pulled her in to the side of the bar. They were standing close, faces inches apart. “You’re quite an amazing woman and I was wondering… if you might consider something more, with me.”

“Oh Rylen, you’re drunk.” she laughed awkwardly.

“No… well yes, but my feelings are the same.” he said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her in closer and kissed her. His lips were warm and sweet despite the ales but it just didn’t feel right. Cyn pushed herself away. 

“Sorry Rylen, but I just don’t feel the same way.” she said as she hurried back to the table. She made a point to cuddle up to Dorian who was boisterously talking. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders protectively without looking at her. It was nice to have someone hold her. Then suddenly she noticed something. “Varric, where did the Commander go?”. Varric simply shrugged and shook his head. 

Rylen had left too which was a great relief. Cyn had gone quiet and simply enjoyed the company of her friends. Hearing their banter and cheers without actually listening to them. Her mind was too loud with her boy troubles. 

After several minutes had lapsed she jumped when someone crept up from behind and whispered in her ear. “Your mind is very loud!” said Cole, “Come.” he grabbed her hand and forced her to follow him outside.

Cyn could understand why Cole would have come for her. He could hear people’s thoughts and there was a spirit of compassion inside that body. But that also meant, he knew of all her fears, anguish and heartaches. Talking to Cole was always very humbling. It was like facing all those monsters in the dark corners of your mind you are desperately trying to avoid. 

Cole led her up on one of the keep’s battlement towers where they liked to sit on the edges and look out into the vastness of the mountains surrounding the keep. They looked up into the cold night stars, their breath making little white clouds.

“You don’t like it when I speak of your heart. You’re afraid of what I might say.” said Cole, “You don’t like me.” 

Well now that’s awkward, “No Cole, it’s not that I don’t like you. It’s just that, I know why you’re here and well, you’re here to force me to acknowledge some things that I don’t really want to face.”

Cole stared for a few seconds then said, “You won’t be able to like any others while you still like the strong one.”

She blinked a few times, “That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say?”

“I won’t make you face the other things you don’t want to face.” he said resolutely but clearly confused by how to handle this human quirk.

“Oh, well you can make me face them a little.” she smiled at Cole’s attempt to spare her feelings. She never quite knew how he would take things, he was such a wild card. 

He thought for a long time then said, “Insecurity, rejection, sadness. Tormenting you more than the demons you fight. Happier if you had him.”

“Right but, I can’t force him Cole. What I would need is to be able to shut down these feelings so I could move on and focus on my mission.” she said sadly. 

“No!” he suddenly got agitated. 

“Why no?” Cyn raised an eyebrow and looked at Cole with concern. 

“He… he said not to tell you anything. But,” he paused, searching for words, “he thinks of you too.”

Cyn had tried to get more out of Cole but he didn’t reveal anything else. But, she now had a little shred of hope. She headed to this War Room meeting ready to talk to her Commander afterwards. She knew she said she wouldn’t run after him again but… he did try to talk to her before and she may have sent him off too aggressively. Besides, if there was a way to end this torment in her heart, she would take another chance. 

She got some strange vibes from Cullen during the meeting. He was feeling distant and avoided her gaze. Maybe the lyrium withdrawals were hitting him hard today, she thought. After the meeting, she asked that he stay behind. He looked angry at her request, like he wanted to say no but didn’t because she was his superior. 

“Um Commander…” she squeaked meekly, his mood completely threw her confidence for a loop, “I was hoping we could start our training again soon. I’ve improved greatly and I think I’m ready to start the next phase… with you.” 

He looked at her angrily, “I must deny your request Inquisitor, with the number of new recruits I will no longer have time to train you. I will get Captain Rylen to train you from now on.”

“But-” she started to protest angrily, the frustration and confusion of it all was just too much. 

“Besides, you’re leaving first thing in the morning. Perhaps you should get some rest.” he said bitterly and then stormed out of the room. 

Angry and confused, she thought, well it would certainly be easier to get over that… that asshole now!

Cullen was spending most of his time personally training the recruits. They needed a lot of attention and it kept his mind busy from wanting to bash Rylen’s face every time he saw him. The tension between the Captain and the Commander was felt by all, yet no one really seemed to understand why. 

Cullen needed to go file some reports he had put off for too long and headed for his office. “Commander, may I have a word with you.” said Erik catching up to him.

“What is it?” said Cullen impatiently.

“You and Rylen seem to be acting strange.” he asked carefully.

“Oh? Why makes you think that?” he lied.

“Well, he is your first officer, and you are the type to care for your soldiers Commander. So you’re telling me you don’t know why you or Rylen are acting out of sorts?” said Erik.

Cullen sighed loudly, “Not a clue.” 

“Are you sure it doesn’t have anything to do with how he tried to kiss my sister?” he crossed his arms and waited for his response. 

The Commander blinked, unsure how to respond, “That’s not any of my business, why would I care who anyone kisses.” he closed the door to his tower office after Erik was inside with him.

Erik chuckled, “My sister told me she has quite the crush on you but that you turned her away. Which is odd because I thought I saw you looking at her in… that way I’d look at a woman I’m interested in. But then I thought I was wrong until I saw how you reacted when Rylen kissed her. You rushed out of the tavern so fast you missed the part where she pushed him off.” 

“She pushed him off?” he blurted in surprise and then shook his head, “Why are you telling me this?” 

“Look, my sister has not had an easy life. And for once, just once, I would like to see her happy with a man that treats her like she deserves.” he looked at Cullen with a piercing gaze, “Why did you reject her?”

“I just... never really stopped to think about myself lately. When she told me she liked me I had never even thought that a relationship was an option. So I just blurted whatever came to mind first. I have tried to talk to her and she has been incredibly good at avoiding me.” 

“Look, if you actually do have some feelings for her, then please, find a way to talk to her. Make sure she can’t wiggle herself out of it.”

“You’re… telling me to go after your sister.” he said suspiciously. 

“I know that seems crazy but I have a lot of respect for you Commander. So as long as your intentions are honourable, I won’t have to hurt you.” he patted him on the shoulder and gave him a crooked smile. 

Cullen suddenly buried his face in his hands remembering his last encounter with Cyn, “Oh maker, I was so rude to her last time we spoke. She reached out and… and I told her I didn’t have any time for her anymore.”

Erik kept patting him on the shoulder, “Yeah, you’re going to have to work hard to get her to forgive you for that one.”

Cyn had been away an excruciatingly long time. She was exhausted from their travels however she held a quick war room meeting to ensure all essential details were shared with her advisors. She had allowed herself to put up walls of anger around her heart during her travels. It was the first time her heart didn’t jump out of her chest at the Commander’s sight. 

“Inquisitor, you should resume your training at once. You are facing a lot of Templars with the renewed red lyrium menace.” said Leliana. 

“Ah yes, about that.” she replied, “I have arranged for my training to continue with Erik. Since the Commander is too busy to train his Inquisitor.” she shot Cullen an icy glare. 

“Inquisitor, I think I should resume your training actually.” he said holding her furious gaze. Probably the bravest thing he’s ever done he thought, if looks could kill.... 

She crossed her arms and kept staring at him defiantly, “But what about all the new recruits?”

“The Commander should train his Inquisitor. I was wrong to assign someone else. You should be my first priority. The new recruits have other capable officers.” he said confidently. 

Cyn wanted to protest but couldn’t think of anything else, she just kept frowning and staring at him confused and angry during the remainder of the meeting. Why is it that every time she manages to put some distance between them he decides to warm up to her and confuse her. 

The meeting was adjourned and Leliana and Josephine exited the room first, as Cyn was about to reach the door, one arm barred her way as he held the door closed. They faced each other only a few feet apart. Cyn frowned at him and took a step back, putting her against the wall. Her dream of him in the war room started like this she thought flustered all while trying to push the image out of her mind.

He took a step closer, “I owe you an apology Cyn.” he said in a low deep husky voice that sent shivers down her spine. 

She was frozen in place, lost in his intense gaze that made her feel light headed and weak in the knees. “Oh?” a mixture of a moan and confusion escaped her lips. Where had this suddenly come from. 

“Yes, because I’m a complete fool.” he smiled softly, “You’ve been incredibly patient with me. Given me a thousand chances. I was too blind to see them. And now, well, I guess I’m here hoping that I haven’t completely ruined my chances.”

His body so close to hers. She could feel his breath. His heat. “But… but I’m mad at you.” she said breathily. Why couldn’t she just fall into his arms right here. His lips seemed so soft and full and... kissable. 

Cullen couldn’t believe her reaction, she was completely hot for him but too headstrong to give in. “That’s fair.” he said in a low silky voice, “Then would you give me the privilege of making it up to you? I don’t deserve this chance but if I may be so bold as to beg for it anyway?”

Her body ached and screamed for him. She felt her insides heat up and melt away all the defences she had managed to put up around her heart. All she could manage was a nod. 

He smiled, “Good, see you tomorrow at noon, at the south eastern tower.” he left her there all hot and bothered. What a demon, she thought, he will pay for that.

Cyn immediately made her way to Dorian’s quarters, not caring that he would be sleeping. She barged in and jumped on his bed, “Wake up and tell me what you told the Commander, Dorian?” but something was wrong. It’s like there were 5 people in Dorian’s bed. 

“Cyn!” said Dorian groggily, “You’re back!” he sat up and gave her a hug in the dark.

“Hey Boss. Welcome home!” said another voice. 

“Bull?” she said, throwing up a bit of magical flame so she could see. “You two… are together?” Dorian and Bull were both shamelessly grinning, enjoying her reaction. “Well good for both of you for getting some while I’m out there risking my neck!” she said facetiously. 

“Hey in our defence you left us behind against our advice. It’s basically your fault you know.” he quipped.

“In that case you should be thanking me!” she winked.

Dorian laughed, “And for the Commander, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“But he basically just threw himself at me!” she asked.

“I mean I sort of talked to him a while back, but that was a while back. I know your brother had a word with him though. Either way, that’s a good thing no? Did you kiss him? Has the deed been done?” 

“No! I was too mad at him to just forget what a confusing moron he’s been.” she exclaimed. 

Bull gave her a little wink, “Oh come on, you make no sense. Just go over to his quarters right now, take all your clothes off and be done with it.”

She chuckled, “Actually, I think that would just freak him out.”

“No way.” said Bull.

“She’s right.” Dorian confirmed, “The Commander has a pretty big stick stuck up his ass and not the good kind. That would probably confuse him. Plus there’s the baggage.”

“You humans are way too weird about this stuff. Qunari have it way easier.” he laughed. 

“Well good for you Bull.” she mocked. 

As she headed over to the south eastern tower the next day she felt the biggest butterflies she’d ever felt in her entire life. 

“Ah, there you are.” he greeted her with a large smile. 

“Good morning Commander.” she said cautiously. The air was cold in the unused south eastern tower. She could see her breath every time she exhaled. “But couldn’t you have found somewhere a bit warmer to train? It’s freezing.” she held her cloak tightly.

“I lit the fire below, it will warm up. As to this tower, I wanted somewhere quiet so we could… focus.” he answered.

She gave him a small teasing smile, “I see.” Her smile gave him pause and he looked at her suspiciously. She continued in a sultry voice, “Well, what do you have for me Commander?” 

He cleared his throat, as if he suddenly remembered where he was. “Right, so, I will suppress magic in the area, all you need to do is cast a spell. I know Solas already explained the theory of how that works, all you need now is practice. Then once you’ve overcome this phase, we can start the sparring phase.”

The thought of sparring with Cullen excited her. Being able to touch him, feel his warmth and hopefully they’d roll around on the floor a few times. “You may have read in our reports that I have managed to cast through the magic suppression ability a couple times in battle recently.”

“Yes, I did. Now we must ensure you can do it reliably.” he confirmed. 

Cullen nodded to say he had activated his power. She closed her eyes at first to try and sense it. “Could you, activate and deactivate your power. I want to see if I can feel it.” It took several minutes of focus but eventually she thought she could sense a faint sensation, like a light velvety weight. She would then guess if it was on or off and Cullen would confirm if she had guessed correctly until she was consistently right. 

Then her focus was on trying to break through the suppression. She tried simply casting but that unsurprisingly didn’t work. She tried to shatter the suppression with sheer force. This sapped almost all her energy which made her feel dizzy and faint. She took a step forward, nearly falling over. Cullen was at her side so quickly she didn’t even see him move. 

“Need a break?” he asked softly as he guided her to a chair. 

“Ugh, I don’t know what else to do. I’ve been trying with as much force as I can to get through but instead it’s just wearing me out.” she shared.

“Maybe try the opposite?” he suggested.

“The… opposite?” she stopped a moment to think, “So try using very little force.” She spotted a candle on the table and decided to light it with a spark. She focused on the candle tip, choosing it as a sort of conduit. A small focused area to puncture through with a needle and thread. She visualized the magical power coming through and lighting the candle. And it happened, the candle was lit. Cyn looked at Cullen in amazement. “It worked! How did you know?” she exclaimed.

“Lucky guess.” he shrugged, “So what does my power feel like?”

She smiled mischievously, “Well, you’re the Commander of the Inquisition so you certainly exude strength and authority, that could be intimidating to some but to me you feel... intoxicating and I like it.” 

Taken aback at her comment, he smiled and blushed, “Um, would you like to eat?” he asked and pulled out a basket he had somehow hidden from view. He unpacked all sorts of delicious food. Fancy cheeses, a bottle of wine, fresh bread and various other small items.

“What’s all this?” she asked surprised, “This is starting to feel like a very odd date where you teach me forbidden magic and then we drink and eat delicacies.”

Cullen blushed again but seemed determined to remain confident. “With the demands of the Inquisition, the lyrium withdrawals and the fact that I tend to seem unsure around beautiful women I can give off the wrong impression. The truth is that I simply haven’t thought much about myself in these times so I was confused myself. So this is me, trying to make up for my blunders. How am I doing so far?”

“I… all I heard was that you think I’m beautiful.” she could feel her heart trying to jump out of her chest.

“Well, the rest was pretty important too. But yes you’re beautiful and I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve heard that.” he said with a smile that made her heart melt.

“Yes, but... it’s the first time I hear it from you.” she replied. He looked at her with hungry eyes that seemed to be undressing her. The tension was palpable, it was exquisitely torturous. They both looked away from each other at the same time to try to quiet the voices that were urging them to tear each other’s clothes off. 

He poured the wine and they ate slowly, chatting and enjoying each other’s company. She found herself leaning forward, gazing deep into his eyes and smiling nearly non-stop. After the candlelit meal they had enjoyed they both decided to keep training. Both knowing at this point it was more of an excuse to get close to each other. 

He would lift her and grapple her with ease. She would make weak attempts to escape these holds frequently stopping briefly to distract him. Then when she decided to escape, she would do it by running her body along his. This went on until they simply had no energy. They were sweaty and their hair was disheveled. If anyone walked in they’d probably look like they had been fucking each other pretty hard all morning. The thought made her thighs quiver. 

“I’m sorry Cullen, but I don’t think I can keep going.” she said out of breath but still with a smile. 

Cullen, also out of breath and teased, “Is that all you’ve got then? I still haven’t seen a spark of magic in there. Looks like we’ll have to do this again tomorrow.”

“I’m pretty sure I saw sparks.” she said sultrily as she closed some of the distance between them. “But we can definitely go at it again tomorrow.”

He chuckled and then his expression turned serious as he moved so close that she could feel his warm breath on her cheeks, his penetrating gaze deep into hers. “So here we are, finally,” he said, “With everything going on, I just... I never thought this could be possible. I’m sorry was so confusing. Admittedly, I was confused myself, with the war and our roles. I had stopped thinking about my own needs and desires some time ago and wasn’t prepared to find you here.” Cullen reached out with one hand and gently cupped her cheek.

“Maker knows I tried to stay focused but I couldn’t stop thinking about you Cullen, even when I was mad I-” a small moan escaped her throat as Cullen’s lips captured hers. When he backed up slowly he nipped her bottom lip, making her lean in, not wanting him to let go. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispered in a voice that set her entire being on fire, “You were saying?” 

“The only thing you need to be sorry for, is stopping.” she said, lightly teasing his juicy lips with hers. He pulled her into a full body embrace, one arm under her arm and pressing her upper back towards him while his other hand rested gently behind the nape of her neck, tilting her head up towards his. They kissed deeply, tongues meeting for a slow and sensual dance. 

The door to the tower suddenly opened, they both jumped back by surprise and awkwardly looked away from each other. “Inquisitor, Commander, the Ambassador is calling a meeting immediately.” he announced.

Cullen walked toward the man and stared him down, “Acknowledged. You may go... Now.” The man’s eyes grew wide at the Commander’s annoyed tone and quickly left. 

“I was sure you were about to chop his head off.” she teased as she wrapped herself in his arms for another embrace. 

“Yes, well...” he grumbled unable to finish his sentence. 

“A war room meeting means we’ll probably be busy afterwards.” she whispered.

He sighed in frustration, “Waiting for you is going to be pure torture.” he said in a raw voice that made her crazy.

Disappointingly, they had been right, the meeting started a domino effect of activity. Both had been inundated with urgent tasks keeping them from being alone together. The following day Cyn was sitting around a table along with Varric, Cassandra and Dorian to discuss their upcoming mission to the Emprise du Lion when her Commander walked in.

“I have the latest report from our soldiers stationed at Emprise du Lion.” he said handing her a report. She discreetly connected her fingers and slid them along his hand while taking the report as their eyes met for a short but intense exchange. 

“Thank you Commander.” she said professionally. 

“Oh cut the crap you two.” said Cassandra, “You don’t have to pretend like nothing has happened.”

Cullen flushed and shrugged uncomfortably looking to Cyn to save him from having to respond. Cyn looked at the others and sighed, “Word really does travel fast.” 

“Yes, everyone is talking about the best news we’ve received since the rift was closed, the Commander and the Inquisitor falling for each other.” said Varric with a large grin. He always did love making Cullen sweat. Dorian, who already knew from Cyn simply smirked.

“Yes well, they can stop talking about it, it really is no one else’s business,” said Cullen rubbing his neck uncomfortably. 

“Oh Commander,” interjected Cassandra, “I think this is a fabulous development. I’m very happy for the both of you. Besides this is great for morale.”

“Thank you Cassandra,” said Cyn, “We haven’t really had the chance to figure out how to make this work although I would want everyone to tell us if they think we’re not prioritizing our roles in the Inquisition.”

“Hrm, well knowing the Commander,” said Cassandra thoughtfully, “I believe we will have to remind him to make some time for you instead Cyn.” 

“Hey!” said Cullen in a slightly offended tone, “Give me a chance first!” he gave Cyn a smile full of tenderness and she responded in kind.

“Oh I’m sure you will. I doubt many could keep their hands off of that beauty for long.” winked Dorian. In the past, these remarks would cause Cullen to flush and launch himself into denial but this time, he simply looked at her longingly in agreement. 

“I’ll stop by to see you later if I can.” said Cyn to Cullen. He gave her a tight lip smile, nodded to the others, and seemed more than happy to leave the room. 

Cyn had spent the rest of the day getting everything ready. The sun had gone down hours ago, the wind had picked up and brought in some heavy clouds that blocked the moon and stars. A snow storm threatened the keep, sending people indoors. Cyn was at the stables when the storm hit. Horse Master Dennet and Blackwall were already gone. She was doing a final check of the horses and gear. It helped calm her nerves to go over everything herself before a mission. 

“There you are.” said a deep familiar voice.

Cyn looked at the entrance and saw Cullen leaning on the edge of the door frame with snow melting off his brow. She had been so busy today, she didn’t have any time to think of him so the sudden sight of him made her smile. She quickly ran over and launched herself into his arms. He held her protectively against his chest and buried his face into her hair. They stayed like that for several minutes, simply enjoying each other’s warmth. 

“I wish I wasn’t leaving tomorrow morning but my Commander is sending me away!” she teased in a half serious tone. 

He cupped her face, brushed his thumb lightly over her lips and whispered, “You know I would keep you here with me if I could.” his gaze sparkled with intensity and desire for her. She closed her eyes, leaned into his touch and let out a small moan as she exhaled. 

She then felt his lips on hers, moving slowly and deliberately. He was holding her body close against his, squeezing to keep her as close as he could. She responded to his embrace with insistence by increasing the demand in her kiss. She plunged her tongue deep into his mouth and ran her hands over his shoulder blades and down his muscular back. She lifted her leg and wrapped it around his waist shifting her pelvis against his hard cock. He groaned in pleasure as he nipped her bottom lip. He reached one hand to her lifted thigh, slowly and hungrily, he groped all the way up to her ass. As soon as he reached her bottom, she jumped into his arms, now with both legs and arms wrapped around him. 

She released his lips momentarily, foreheads still touching, “Hay loft?” she smiled.

He gave her a guttural grunt as acknowledgement and immediately carried her up the stairs to the stable loft, which was fully stocked with hay bales. Choosing the most comfortable looking hay they covered it with his cloak before laying upon it, facing each other. He gently guided her to her back by kissing her collarbone causing her to close her eyes and tilt her head back. He worked his way down as he unbuttoned her top and freed her breasts. He paused at the sight of them as he felt their fullness with one of his hands. They were even more magnificent than he had imagined. She released a small moan when he ran his thumb over one of her sensitive nipples. Seeing her writhe in pleasure encouraged him to suck in her other breast, seductively teasing her with his tongue. 

His other hand slithered down her stomach, he exhaled sharply at feeling her dampness through her clothes. She arched her back at his touch and enjoyed the sensation as it resonated throughout her entire body. He managed to uncover her bottom enough to fit his hand directly onto her clit giving it proper attention. And in time, he moved so that he could look at her expression when he dipped his fingers into her opening. The months of tension she held for him exploded, she gripped him with hands and legs while she felt wave after wave crashing over her. 

Being sheltered from the stormy wind blowing outside didn’t prevent the cold from nipping at her exposed skin. She pulled him on top of her to shield herself from the cold and more importantly, so she could reach his cock with both hands. She explored his hardness while they kissed. When he put his tip at her entrance, they slowed and looked deeply into their eyes as he inched his way inside. Both exhaled and time seemed to stand still as they shared a small sultry smile while they connected on every level. 

“You feel so good.” he whispered. She responded by tilting her hips to take him in deeper and they moved together as one, each thrust sending them higher. Her hands found their way under his shirt, where she could feel his warm body tense and move as he slid in and out of her. He would turn his attention to her breasts and back to her lips with fiery passion. When he felt her tighten again and shiver with pleasure, he released a moan. He soon pulsed inside her in his release and then collapsed beside her ensuring to pull her into a tight embrace to keep the cold at bay. They lay entwined together as they basked in their after sex glow and caught their breath. 

She woke up to the first light of the morning wishing she could bury her head in the crook of Cullen’s neck and go back to sleep. They had left the stables and continued to indulge their insatiable desire for each other in his bed throughout the rest of the night. She sat in his bed, untangling herself from his body as gently as she could. She lost herself in his features for several minutes, committing every inch of his body to memory so she could recall every detail while she was away. She wanted to be able to picture not just his obvious features, but also the smaller things, the imperfections that made him perfect. The way his veins drew lines under his skin. The calluses on his hands. And also, the scars he accumulated in his years of training and battle. She reached over instinctively at the scar on his upper lip and with infinite tenderness, she ran a thumb over it while cupping his cheek. As if she could cancel out the pain behind that scar with her love. It’s in those moments, when she thought about his past and his suffering, that she wished she could erase all he endured. 

Cullen stirred at her touch, kissed her hand and moaned softly. Without opening his eyes he reached out with his arms trying to find her and pulled her in when he connected with her body. He held her tightly against him and with it, communicating how badly he didn’t want to let her go. 

“The world is calling out to us.” she said softly within his embrace, relishing the warm and secure space he created within her. 

He squeezed her tighter and buried his face in her neck, “The world can wait a few moments longer.”


End file.
